Indians. Are we touchy?

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"They held me back two hours because My Name is Khan." Isn't that publicity enough? Way to go!

We had an incident involving someone no less than APJ Abdul Kalam. There was minimum fuss. Why can't we go on like that? Frisking you is like drinking water. It is so very routine. Why can't the Indian mindset be programmed to think beyond the perks and fusses encountered back home? Gone are the days when concerned Appa-s and Amma-s looked for Government servants as potential son-in-laws. Yes, corrupt minds thrive. But we're waking up, and the filthy thinkers think twice before letting out a word in public that might endanger their positions.

If I'd been an Indian frisking official, I'd probably frisk Richard Gere twice than was necessary(Please don't blame me, guys, the revenge gene still exists, though recessive). But yes, the official there probably didn't care who Khan was when he was doing his job. Why can't we take a leaf out of that duty-bound-behavior and implement that back home, for us to prevent terrorism and eliminate all chances? Kamal Haasan was also detained at one point in the past, because of his name. He didn't make it to the headlines. But I do remember reading it in The Week. Point: Wake up and stop being all stupid. We Indians have always won lines in International Novels for being nosy and licking fingers in public, alongside peeing(only men, I swear) in the streets(no kissing, that alone would be offensive!). Enough of looking up to foreigners(swine flu? keep away!). I remember going to Hampi in Karnataka where the locals tried their butts' best to befriend foreigners and take pictures with them. The children, mainly aped their parents. India's a friendly country but who wants us to be termed "inferior" because of our happy-go-lucky locals, right? Enough of all that.

We've become spineless fools. When are we growing nerves of steel, tell me. Let India stand proud. Let it not bend to the others. Give respect and take respect. We need Gandhi more than anyone else.. The power is within us. We can do it. Time for all us smart dudes and cool chicks to take over. The government/Sabhas have seen enough flabby tummies and parasites feeding on the nation's resources. Show's over, folks. Why do you think Mani Ratnam's Yuva/Aayudha Ezhuthu flopped???

.... Yes.

And fear flew..

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Everywhere I go, there is a mention of flu doing the rounds. I caved in to the pressure and even sent a forward to friends which asked them to take precautions doing this and that. And then after so much typing, I went to the bathroom, lathered my hands for 20 seconds, sat down on the toilet, and cried. When I was done, I washed and wiped and went out.

A test for this dreaded thing sets me back 5K odd. Heck, I could take tamiflu medication for this! I think it is a good thing for India to have reacted fast enough-- atleast Tamil Nadu government to have shut down schools for a week to stop the exponential spread. I had gone this afternoon to have my daily helping of the bananas after lunch. And I failed to swallow it once I saw Caucasians sneezing on the street. Yes, my Indira Nagar neighbourhood, Ladies and Gentlemen. My dad adviced me to get my immunity up and running by doing the basic Pranayama exercise and helping myself to healthier foods. Guess I will really need to do that. I mean, who really wants to be isolated?

On top of all this, now there is discrimination with the haves on the receiving end and the (formerly) susceptible have-nots inflicting the insult/injury. But they shall not remain quiet(they who have never BEEN at the receiving end, so far, have surprisingly offensive retorts)- the upper class H1N1 haves-all pointedly inform you of the exotic origin of their conditions. They picked up the flu on their summer holidays abroad. How DARE you even think they caught it in some random sneezy street back home?

I hope the pharma institutes and industries back here get a vaccine soon enough. They always perform well under pressure. (Dont we all!).

There is a common Indian belief that when are off for a journey, and someone sneezes, you delay or cancel it. For a change, if someone sneezes next to you, run for your life! Times, they say, are a changing: One man's sneeze is now the other man's tension. Got to introduce third-party insurance in Med-claims too!

Whaat an IDEA!

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It has been looked at with awe. Nandan Nilekani, blue eyed boy of Infosys, has quit his Infosys job to spearhead the Unique Identification Authority of India. So, what's the deal? To give you, me, and a billion Indians a national ID card that will reduce each one of us into a 21 digit number. One word- Wow! Everyone becomes a 10 digit cellphone number.

Ofcourse a 10 digit number is not enough for a national ID card. So Nilekani will give us a 21 digit or a 38 digit number or perhaps even a 64 digit number depending on whatever catches his fancy. This number will be you. All facts about you can be mined from this ID. Just as you cannot step out of India and go anywhere without being arrested unless you carry your passport, this ID will henceforth be your identity, your proof of existence. It will brand you for life! What fun.

Until now-- it has been your PAN number without which you cannot transact any business, bank your money or file your income returns. If you want to buy mutual funds, you also need a MIN number and if you want to take out your own money from an ATM, you need a PIN number. If you are a Company director, you must have a DIN number. You can't drive without your driving licence number, and your cars must carry registration numbers. You can't make or receive a call without a cell number. You can't vote without a voter ID number. You can't pick up your rations without a ration card number. Your credit card number's always on the watchlist of banks, on the basis of the tax guys keep a track of your expenses. Some of us even have a number outside the main door of our flats, scrawled by some BMC inspector. Your e mail ID is actually a number masquerading as your name. Yet you can't send an email without your IP number attaching itself to that mail. It's called your Internet Protocol address but is in reality a number through which you can be traced. Even your pets get ID numbers when you pay their licence fee. On top of all this, do you want a national ID number? Remember, these watchlists are not always monitored by people sensitised to our democratic rights. They are in the hands of stupid, humourless freaks whose only job is to terrorize you and me.

A young Bangalore-based techie K Lakshmana Kailash was picked up by the Pune Cyber Crime Branch in September 2007 for allegedly defaming Shivaji on Orkut. His life and job went for a tailspin. He spent 50 nightmarish days in jail before the cops realised that some ass from the service provider had sent them the wrong IP. The cops claim the same service provider, one of India's best known(no prizes for guessing!), gave them yet another wrong IP during another criminal enquiry. The national ID scheme is not some joke. It is not something most people wouldn't be proud to own, though. But you know what? I have read enough Robin Cook books to know and understand that the social security number of a US citizen is stolen by someone else with frightening consequences. Every bit of information about you and me will be on those cards. Imagine it falling into the hands of a corrupt government officer or a thug or criminal. Imagine what they could do with it. To you and those around you.

We might all be Indians and be proud to identify with that fact and country but are the politicians and government servants trustworthy? One screening of the movie 'Indian' was enough to make me cringe and despise government offices and jobs. So is numbering every person over the age of 18 a good idea? OK, so if there is a terrorist in our midst, we would want to get him. But with a lot of malfunctioning and not-very-straightforward moves made by dangerous 'middlemen' in the government, the country needs to simply not mimic the West and carry on with issues that need to be resolved, rather than giving rise to new ones.

Of showbiz and sexuality

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Shiney Ahuja has let me down. This is personally how I felt as soon as I was into the loop. Checking out timesofindia now and then, I wondered how it is that every single person that I develop a crush on, is doomed(atleast for a while). I remember the Gangster movie and how taken I was with this guy. And then ha! Here he comes with an assault up his sleeve. There is another rumor doing the rounds that HE was the one who was raped. I am not going to raise an eyebrow at that. Who knows if the maid was being manipulative and grabbed her shot at publicity? Hey, I am not ruling out Shiney's intentions, too. If Kate Moss could make a comeback after the drug-mayhem-- if a cocaine scandal brings you a Dior/Chanel/Burberry deal, then a maid-in-India *could* (surely)bring you better stories with cooler scripts. After all, if Sanjay Dutt could do it, surely Shiney couldn't be that far behind?

Some guys think they have it all. What is it he said about consensual ***? Essentially, sex would be equated with power, when it comes to high-profile people or positions. You have harrassment cases in the workplace everyday, with the filings against the weaker(!) sex being lesser than what the guys would want it to be ;) While I am all OK with the females being sued, you will have to agree with me, that females aren't stupid enough to be caught with their pants down like Hugh Grant was, in Vegas. So what was Shiney doing, getting himself in such a sticky place? Good on you, dude, I might even agree with you if you say you're going to be on the A-list from now. Producers are going to be waiting at your doorstep. The Bachchan Bahu will take notice of you and might even do a Shabd-II, insisting that you're someone who is an amazing co-actor, superbly professional. The fact that you thought it was your birthright to get sexual favors from your maid might not even MATTER. You're a celebrity, woo-hoo! Welcome to Bollywood, at last ;) But yeah, I hate you.

Speaking of sexuality, I do not understand the furore over the High Court giving the gay-couples its blessing. Why the furore? Why even oppose anything you do not understand? Why fight just for the SAKE of it? Why can't we be more broadminded? Why is legalizing something so wrong? I remember telling one of my friends I wanted to visit Amsterdam. He gave me a weird look. This was when I was in my tenth standard ;) He then told me the place was known for legalizing prostitution. I remember thinking what was wrong with that? It is a free country. And people are shuddering in India, thinking we're going to do an Amsterdam next. Well what is so wrong about that? Movies are made about sex workers and the audiences absolutely lap them up-- look no further than Chameli or Laaga Chunari Mein Daag!- In Tamil I remember watching "Arangetram" by K Balachander wherein a Brahmin girl resorts to prostitution to help her family prosper. It wass simply a solution according to her. And became a way of life. Legalizing it would simply mean, it would be brought down to a much lower level, as I believe it feeds and thrives on clandestinity. They say India is a free country. If you have a free will, nothing would prevent you from going out and seeking favors. If you're a man, you would stick to morality. If not, well it's upto you! The country should not bother about every individualistic sentiment. Instead of us contributing together toward the betterment of the nation, it is, ridiculously, the nation(represented by some high-sounding props) that is thinking for a minority. When is this going to change? Let us channel this furore toward thinking of a solution for a developed country and to eradicate poverty.. Why not a move to pro-actively work toward good causes than simply have some charcha over whether or not girls are allowed to pleasure other girls?

Microsoft: Strong?

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Just a year back, Bill Gates relinquished his day-to-day responsibilities at Microsoft, to concentrate on the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Fair enough. This is what all of them men do, anyway. I know Narayana Murthy did that. I actually admire the people who are gutsy enough to hand over responsibility of the organizations they founded.. and finding the right person to hand it over, too, is a Herculean task. Nandan Nilekani and Steve Ballmer proved their mettle over time, and inevitably continued as CEO/Co-Chairman of the respective corporations(Nilekani resigned June 2009)

I think Microsoft has been acting a lot defensively of late. Would things have been the same, what with the company's Azure Plans? And the Laptop Hunter Ad campaign, that was targeted at Apple? Every project that has floated-- every product has more or less been a reaction to a competitor's version already existing in the market. For all the hype about Bing, I don't know if I will use it much, because I am so tuned to Google, but a search engine from Microsoft was not expected... A Microsoft insider, who happens to be a friend, answers that it is a question of survival, when I asked why the company had to publicly acknowledge the competition. It is automatically assumed that you are trying hard not to be left behind in the mad race(whatever the goal might be). If you're a winner, why do you have to finetune your actual mission in the corporate/public domain? Google came for search. It branched into Mail, and social networking(Orkut) and video/image hosting for Picasa and stuff. Fine. But Microsoft, having come as a corporation for bringing personal computer to the masses, should it really divert itself -- by bringing into existence a search engine service where it is already clear who the winner is/has been for so long?

Over the next few months, the Redmondians are about to embark on *the biggest launch wave in Microsoft history* according to the company. New versions of Windows, Office, Windows Mobile and Visual Studio are coming, as are the Zune HD, the Natal Xbox controller and the *final* Azure cloud operating environment. It seems Gates’ day-to-day absence hasn’t put the brakes on the Microsoft new-product train.

Would Microsoft be seen as a more formidable, stronger company if Gates were still its primary talking head and Chief Software Architect? Or was it time for Gates to move on to other things, notably, his foundation, making way for new ideas and new blood? I am still thinking. How is Microsoft now? *Drumroll, please* Stronger or weaker? Do let me know. I want to know what you're thinking.

Garma Garam Chai... and Business Ideas

Disclaimer: The views expressed by the blogger does not necessarily reflect the views of this website, those who link to this website, the blogger's mother, father, brother, sister, boyfriend, girlfriends, uncle, aunt, grandparents, cousins, any other blood relative EXCEPT the blogger herself. Any conclusions you might come to after reading the piece are yours and yours alone, not implied or impressed on purpose.

It has just come to my notice that there are no longer the good ol' tea and coffee shops that we covet at the end of the day, whether it be a long draining shopping exercise or running about all touristy with friends. Unless it is a tourist spot. What happened to metropolitan cities' Little Shops that provided momentary relief when we needed them? All I see when I turn around are Coffee Days and Baristas and Godbless, MacDonalds. I don't want to shell out some fifty odd for a steaming cuppa, okay? I don't know what they say about Kalmane Koffee here that is said to be a signature brand in the city, but even it joins the expensive-brigade.

Today being a Sunday I rambled out and went to the Total Mall as I wanted to have Garlic Bread-- as the weather sort-of teased my taste buds and I was unable to relinquish the pangs and there was a case of excess salivation(really, Amma, I miss your thattai and murukku and the hot sweet ginger tea you make and the chats we share while looking out the balcony). Having had my fill, I looked round if there was a place I could have some hot filter kaapi, and darn-it, couldn't find one. Having no choice, I went back to MacDonald and had to get hot tea(nowhere near home). Gulping it down with great difficulty, I looked up and asked an in-charge if there was ANY place in the whole MALL where I could get Kaapi. Response: Amused grin. "No ma'am, we have cold coffee." Why not hot!?!??! "Because cold coffee is IN, right now, Madam." I don't care what's in, what's out, I want it HOT! OK, What else do you have? "Coke. All soft drinks." I meant HOT. Wince. "No Madam. Everything is cool." Of all the daft, absurd, loony, laughable..!

I felt like that customer in that joke book with the waiter jokes. "Waiter do I have to wait here until I die of starvation?" "No Sir, we close at six o clock." Hmmm, except, I didn't crack a rib laughing over it this time. I looked skyward and petitioned the Almighty, questioning him if today was my guinea-pig-day. The sky rumbled in response, and it started pouring. Oh Great. I guess He was laughing so hard He had tears coming.

Why do we have to give up things that clarify our comfort-zone.. Like hot cups of beverages.. We do not go by the rules of the West.. We do not have burgers and soft drinks for breakfast. We're more realistic and deep down know that it would be much, much better to go by the traditional Dosai/Sambar/Chutney Combo and a swig of (dark) joe. Why can't we aim to become developed by still hanging on to our old niceties and tradition?

I almost made my mind up to go to the railway station, where I could get decent cups of chai. But I didn't. Luckily, I found a Sukh Sagar nearby and duly went in and had some. Something better than nothing!

I really need to start a coffee business. I think the urge is growing stronger. Feedback, potential sponsors/investors, business advisors: welcome. :P What is the essential need-- that you feel has not had justice done to it? Lets see if we can take it forward. According to me, it was coffee outlets and proper coffee/chai availability/service this evening. Do not frown. There is more than half probability of this decision having been an emotional one, rather than some remote possibility of being an EconomicTimesBusinessIdea Finalist one as there was too much blood in my caffeine system, and I KNOW the decision I made was at an emotional low. ;) But I am much more in favor of simple, out-of-the-box ideas than ones involving software or technology. Give me a Sarath Babu who originated Food King Catering for a purpose, or a Shahnaz Husain or an E-Bay. Actually E-Bay has me hooked. I heard it was founded by Pierre Omidyar(CEO) to help his fiancee get rid of her broken printer. It might/might not be true, but some stories stick.

Please let your imagination run wild.. and think. Do you have anything to dispose of, that could actually help me find a multimilliondollar company? I'll put you on the board of directors, and you'll have my ear. And you'll make money when the company floats onto the stock market. :P

(Now whats that I hear about counting chickens wayy ahead of time? Shut up! Abdul Kalam has told me to dream, dream and dream!)

Mike! RIP

Disclaimer: The views expressed by the blogger does not necessarily reflect the views of this website, those who link to this website, the blogger's mother, father, brother, sister, boyfriend, girlfriends, uncle, aunt, grandparents, cousins, any other blood relative EXCEPT the blogger herself. Any conclusions you might come to after reading the piece are yours and yours alone, not implied or impressed on purpose.

It is definitely hard to find some cyber-space where someone has something nice to say about Mike Jackson. We loved his music. I am listening to *Beat It* as I write. What wondrous music. I remember being just about 6 years old when Black or White used to play on TV. It was so darn catchy and I remember thinking, wow, I love this guy. I was probably too young to identify suggestive dance moves at that time and my brother and me just lala-ed all the way. And he definitely didn't tell me about it, the bummer. :P Anyway, he was dancing amongst people-- of all different cultures in the world..(Bharatanatyam from India, South Asian-- wasn't able to make out which-- and African). And then you know, I was stuck with Liberian Girl and Remember the Time. He made real, real nice music and he knew it, too.

I refuse to judge such an incredible performer on the basis of his personal life. He performed, and that was it. He was King in his time. Who can forget Heal The World, and the Earth Song? Which other musician you know used his public power, as a weapon to make everyone tune to his message? Even if child-abuse is something I will not stand. OK, I am not going on a crusade to defend this guy. But seriously, you guys. His plastic surgery was laughed at. But people make mistakes. Of course, you know what they say about empty vessels.

I loved Mike because he was the first person to have anyone think of racism, and he used his star power to influence views in a good way. I remember how mad I got at my Dad when my Mike Jackson CD that was on his laptop disappeared. I remember Dad getting mad at me, too. And my mom and brother laughed. They always do. ;) They will, after reading this. OK. Point made. Mike has done a lot of good music, and I think I am right about him donating and supporting good causes. Anyway. Mike. Here's to you. RIP.

You better run, you better do what you can

Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man

You wanna be tough, better do what you can

So beat it, but you wanna be bad

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

No one wants to be defeated

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it

Just beat it, beat it

Just beat it, beat it

Just beat it, beat it