Jaishree Viswanathan: Universal Thought Log

Snobs and (bogus) connections

2011-09-18T20:55:00.000-07:00

I know all of us have run (once or more) into the same species and some of us encounter them everyday. Ever hung around the Embassy or Indian Commerce group meets? You'll find these dweebs declaring themselves to be *privileged* members. They're bald old men wearing sickening Ujala-type white shirts. They speak about how many years along the line they are NRIs and part of the group (which grants membership once you suck up to the people who matter). The admin is too lazy to strike off names/update the list, therefore making them snobs permanent fixtures at any gathering. Most of them are losers - enough to want to be seen that they give up their schedule of the day to revel in some minutes of much needed "I know you". It's probably due to a much needed feeling of self worth which they seriously lack, be it at home or work. These poor clowns cannot wait for free food. Once they have had their fill, they make life miserable for everyone around.

The particular bore I was unlucky enough to meet and got me shocked enough to start writing, let's call him PH (for p**p-head), is a Chartered Accountant and has his own client-consultancy business. He's a big name-dropper and a shocking self-laud expert. He wants to show off connections in high places and so names some politicians back home. Since he also wants an intelligent reputation, he throws in common issues sourced from Financial Times, AGAIN followed by a heavy unwanted dose of superiority. He blushes(not too becoming) and flirts with local immigration authorities who come for a feedback session. He does not allow focus to divert. He wants to do most of the talking and brushes you aside because he thinks he is the only one who's taken seriously in the room. He disappears in the blink of an eye when you deign to ask for favours(didn't he just say he knew the whole Delhi quartet?)

There are just too many of these saps sprouting out of the woodwork by the dozens. What do you do with them? Pests.

More Holidays: More Lessons!

2011-07-05T22:18:00.000-07:00

My dear dear friends in cyberspace, after a lot of time taken off for, well, a watershed!- marital pursuits, TV shows, music, holidays and settling in again, I have realized how much I missed blogging as soon as I am onto typing mode. So much has occurred and yet no changes are perceived.. perhaps others see how I've been intellectually forcefed. Yeah, the skull is probably not that empty anymore. Perfecting subtlety, like Dad said. So I'm doing this while side-reading this article.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshowpics/9660906.cms

Narayanamurthy calls it a day! I liked going through the 30 lessons. "Hire an accountant even if he is argumentative" is a tad difficult to digest. May be I'll say that when I'm 60.

Anyway. Folks, am back from a refreshing Thai holiday.. If there is anything I would recommend, it is a beautiful chillin' out trip to the Phi Phi Islands with an understanding(well, (recommended, not mandatory))partner. We women like to think we're impeccable, but for once, I think I should stress on the importance of a sweet and patient partner who makes us regret our own awful behavior. did I ever say I got to be one of the lucky 'uns? I dont feel like I got into dungballs anymore. ;)

Southern Silk Spells

2011-01-07T00:24:00.000-08:00

I decided to dedicate this post to Vijayalakshmi(Silk Smitha)- popular south siren. This came about after watching Alaigal Oyvadhillai- by Bhaarathiraja. What stood out was the performance of Vijayalakshmi(I refuse to use any other name!)- a woman scorned and having undergone role-reversal (mid movie).. plays a pivotal role in helping out the good guys in light of their new prominence.

Bold and raunchy. An 80s Mallika Sherawat minus the attitude and society's respect, may be. I think she was a beauty surrounded by beasts. Our actresses had it hard and tough.. which may be why their behavior turned psycho at some point.. strange.. and strained. It can get pretty savage out there.. and only the toughest survive. The rest exist on drinks and drugs. Today is different. Last era's It gurl is boring in an era when you have to be a brat or get ridiculous to stay in the news. Today? The film industry still has hitches.. Alas, back then, they didn't have anybody's experiences to ponder upon and learn. Girls who wanted to make it big slept around and landed parts. Some were strong, some escaped. Some struggle to keep the show up and running.. and in the mad rush to keep body and soul together in the big, bad, world of movies- some don't make it. It probably starts small.. Get discovered.. get to Kodambakkam.. start work! And if you have "connections" it probably gets a lot easier.. First few years are brilliant.. And once you cross 25, you're at a crossroads-- Get going(highrisk) or go safe(marriage/retirement/the works). But the comfort zone is mistakenly assumed to be the high risk area- money rolls in, admirers exist, and with luck, good (supporting)roles come up. But also, sticking to glamor really helps, which would call for sleep-ins that now get to be routine. Else assignments would trickle away and those middleaged nothings go for younger chicks. Desperate, with image issues and bills coming up, gradually, alcohol becomes essential. Party appearances for "friends" with money and booze(essential!) turns into client-fulfilment(businessmen,actors,name it). Therefore, it comes full circle. What started off as fun- becomes a nightmare with no end. Zilch for money, love, and attachment, capable people like Vijayalakshmi chose not to give themselves another chance. To get mixed up with men who do not return feelings is hell. How I wish she had made some friendships. But yes, today's "it" statement would be- "I am not in the film industry to make friends."

I was much relieved when Rambha tied the knot. Here, atleast is someone who got lucky enough to survive! To get another shot would always make a difference, it's LIFE.

So coming back to Vijayalakshmi- Who, in a parallel life, would have probably turned out to be a shrewd, sweet, nice worldlywise 50 yr old today..you've left your mark! RIP.

Marriage: Mockery! Aur kya chahiye boss?

2011-01-06T00:16:00.000-08:00

Having loads of time isn't necessarily a good thing. Like less facebooking should be top on the list of New Year Resolutions, may be reading up on gossip should be second. Pinne enna! All I read about the last quarter of 2010 was second marriages and people getting divorced. OK, since I should stop talking about it, I thought I'd have a last shot at it before signing off the topic.

What got the ball rolling was what's-his-face-Bhupathi divorcing Shwetha Jaishankar and settling for Lara Dutta. And don't even get me started on PrabhuDeva and Nayans(Nines, as she's affectionately referred in the press). This post is to reinforce : Marriage: Man || Bicycle: Fish. God, they were all so right!

I often wondered why people in Indian families wanted to get their daughters married off so they could be free of responsibility. Well, they now are entering an era of insecurity.. second marriages! And chances are, parents won't even be called for consideration.

Prabhu Deva got his lottery ticket in marriage.. he told himself he lost and tore it up. And no prizes for guessing what next: Adutha lottery ticket!

If a marriage is accepted as a "mistake" one wants to scratch and move on, then there is no meaning in companionship. We are perhaps approaching a similar time as the rajahs of old who married many times and gave new meaning to polygamy.. and how love existed there, too. Hell, he didn't have to say he was two/three-timing or cheating on someone.. he got away.. sure had a ball of a time allright!

Just thought to ask a few friends for their input(If you want me to trash them, send me an email and I'll have the kai-aals at their doorstep)

(*Names have been changed to protect privacy)

Vaidyanathan*: Marriage is not about dealing with compatibility, but learning to deal with incompatibility.

Rama*: Battlefield, no bed of roses. You know what, eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards is all I would tell a dude before he takes the plunge.

Arvind*: I'm singing I'm a slave 4 u and slogging it out in the kitchen

Sorkant*: Two-timing is the best option. Infidelity is the best solution.. and keep them blissfully ignorant at home! And keep it spicy.

Makrit*: Kadhalichutten. Kalyanam than next step-nu.. OK, it's going to be fun with a lot of privacy nu ninaichen.. OMG, its a lot of torture.. and the worst thing is.. I brought this upon myself..

Manivannan*: For a girl, a guy who rates a 5 at 7 pm still rates the same score at midnight, regardless of how much she's had to drink. Shit! And after marriage it gets worse.

Jyothsna*: I recommend marriage to everybody.

Deendayali*: I think I have a good time. I dont care about the husband. But yes, I love it. People, get married! And milk every chance!

I didnt have the heart to publish other opinions. They're all negative.

May be the generation after us will stick to live-in. Then, our country will begin to comprehend how it works for our society too. The grandpas and grandmas won't be around to tell us unconvincingly that "they're fine" when in reality, they're not. We won't feel pangs inside that tell us we need to make our parents happy, it is just a state of mind that would need some recalibration.

Jeez. This sucks!

Buddha.. I thought I'd grow older to have to understand "Nothing is permanent- nothing" -- I got it. And.. hey is this all evolution playing a dirty well disguised trick to make us stronger?

Happy New Year!

2010-12-23T21:01:00.000-08:00

I read recently-The secret to understanding a city is to learn the word on its street. That would probably explain compatibility. If you could read people's minds as they were passing you- at any given place- you would notice how everybody is thinking- almost the same thing. AND if, if your word does not match the word of the street, may be you're not meant to be there at all!

I thought about it. and my word is- LIBERAL. And the word in the street? OBEY. May be I need to get around here and learn the rules of the game and then flout. Or, go to a place where my word is more customary, less controversial. If you believe me, OBEY runs everywhere in my city- beneath my slippers, whispers in the grass, follows me as I get in the bus, and trains underneath- why, even in other people's eyes! But it also makes me feel extremely safe, as I do not have to think twice about going out on my own in the night to grab some yogurt. But even then, this makes me twice as unsafe in other parts of the world- since this is the easiest place to live. Everything is planned- everything. Your post isnt delayed, you dont have black tickets for movies- and there is no mafia, your citizen status makes you eligible on the receiving end of perks, you have your whole retirement options planned out by the state!

Therefore, THE WORD spins through the streets, bumps up against me and tumbles off, leaving zilch impact.

Anyway. With Christmas pressing up its red lips against my glass door, it is impossible not to give into the cheery spirit and bhangra to Mukesh Ambani's celebratory electricity bill for a month. (Read up on the gossip). While my mom seems to think this is a waste of money which would find better use with developing India, I beg to disagree. I think capitalism stands to be recognized by whoever wants to. If you choose to be ameer in Hindustan, so be it! Vijay Mallya stands testimony to it. Have you heard of those Swamijis clarifying people's purpose on earth? well the king of good times was supposed to be the King of Good Times! May our generation stand to be empire of even better times.

Happy Christmas.. and lets bring in the new year with an extra Balle Balle!

Relationships

2010-07-20T22:10:00.001-07:00

Authority in a relationship is perhaps the best technique for smooth sail. Coming to household mundaneness, who wears the pants in a relationship? The man or the woman? I hate the equality crap. Everyone loves a rebel. How many times have you been to parties where the man is getting his fifth beer and his wife tells him off in front of everybody and he meekly smiles at her? How many times have you seen a woman who is all that-- career driven, strong, confident- crumble before a man who(to you) looks like he couldn't intimidate you if he tried?

Well, equality isn't a bad thing. The mass wouldn't feed on it. You wouldn't look at it twice if it wore a two piece bikini and pole danced wearing it. Face it, we all like to give couples the once-over if they're eye catching enough and fight for publicity.

It hasn't been easy for us women, you know. Getting waxed and having babies apart, we undergo a huge amount of pain before appearing like a snow-drop for guys to admire. Not all girls look like Angelina Jolie. (and we'd all like to end up with Brad Pitt). But that's not how it works. There are a lot of variables in the equation before you can define characteristics.

When was the last time you wondered why Catherine Zeta Jones married Michael Douglas? Why Princess Diana married Charles(for all the good it did her)? Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart? How about Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Ash/Abhi. come ON. nobody's falling for true love. It's about life, and how you decide to live it.

You want to live reckless? do it. Wise? Good for you! Bored? Fine by me!

When a 20 something woman chooses a 50 something man over a tattooed 30 year DUDE who is very desired amongst her age group, it isn't a snap decision. She probably adds to the oomph factor and she'll probaaably make him feel young again. Talking from her perspective, it would be different albeit refreshing experience to date an older man.

The man, on his part gives her her due and talks intelligently about not just soccer and offers insight into travel and philosophy and opinions on a variety of things going about the world(which she would love to know) and makes her feel like a lady. He is willing to start afresh and is extremely secure and ensures stability.

How does a guy pick his girl? Why do you think that it is almost mandatory for men "committing" to women younger than them(in my case, India)? Because unlike men, who mature if at all, do it slow and steady, women mature early and grow up.

Boys learn; AND take their own time to figure out stuff.

Conclusion: Guys date gurls. Gurls date gurls. Guys date themselves.

Fortunately there are no absolutes in life.

In the end, after all, age is just a number.

But domination??

New evidence has it that stay-at-home moms have plenty of clout. Even if, say, I do have a few friends toying with the thought that an "income" would automatically generate *power*. And not in a bad sense. But the idea is flawed, if you ask me. Income is definitely a plus for running the household. But it isn't solely going to make your relationship stronger! Decision making does not hold employment as a pre-requisite. Why, my grandmother, and mother, for some point of time, managed the purse strings back then even if they were the respective wives(bahuranis) while their husbands slogged it off having assurances in the back of the mind that the household was in good hands.

Money is important. But does it call the shots in a marriage? It shouldn't. Your wife can, or your husband can reach decisions together(by democracy or authority, Meenatchi atchi or Chidambaram, totally varies in every household!) but I wish to make a point. There is a silliness inherent in the brand of feminism that belittles full-time motherhood/homemaking by constantly worrying about the family balance of power. In most modern Indian marriages there is no struggle for supremacy, because most of the husbands are all too happy to let their wives make, or at least share equally in, the decisions. This is an arrangement, that satisfies the majority of couples. And if they're content with it, maybe misogynists/feminists should be too.

Don't think you can stand for power after money comes in. It might work, but it is WRONG.

Love for Lottery: Part 2

2010-07-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

With renewed vigour and happier thoughts, I come back from the outing, all starry eyed and feeling lucky already. I rub my hands in glee. There! One productive day, that was. Its almost like I have like this big investment tucked away somewhere. Someday it'll grow enough to be so much that I could probably get a villa in France or Pondicherry and take periodic flights/cars home to Chennai. It was going to be so easy.

Well. I realiZe I am going about it in the present tense, but the worst is over. I havent won. But my dreams dont cease happening before me. I keep havign them. It's like this hunger. Not this lottery, so what? Hey. I might discover tomorrow I'm inheriting a big kingdom or something and my mom and dad might turn out to be, oh I dont know, king and queen of hitherto-yet unknown country somewhere random.

Hey. It could happen.

By the time it comes around, I would probably be doing something glamorous like having Yoga Retreats in posh locations around Asia and have people all over the world hear about it and struggle for appointments. Not that I'm a regular. But you know what? I got my husband started on Surya Namaskar.

Been there, done that. I can totally do this. It's just about letting your higher self take over, and visualize yourself floating diagonally upward on the Padmasana. If you channel your mind properly, you might even have reached a stage where you can see a distant elephant padding slowly across the coconut grove. In other words, your mind has already transported you to God's Own Country.

You start a retreat like that, you'll have all those corporate Tatas and Birlas renounce their suits and ties and turn into totally different personalities. They'll be tanned and lean, hair all long, and they might even sport like a few plaits. They'd even wear rudraksh and beaded bracelets. If you're lucky, you might even spot a silver type trinket gleaming in the ear.

Material possessions dont matter at all. Nay. Yoga is all. They'd all say that without that snort.

You attain karmic bliss and have all those links of chain(material) pulling you along, snap you free of bondage.

Try it.

Love for Lottery: Part 1

2010-07-16T21:57:00.000-07:00

This morning, I got the Straits Times from the seven-eleven close to our place as I thought I was not being in touch with regional news much. I like the Straits Times already.

I like the color, and it costs just about 7o cents. And if you walk down the street with the Straits tucked under your arm, people actually think you're a heavyweight intellectual and say Good Morning which doesnt happen otherwise.

I rifle though the pages and end up at this section which has SALE! all over it. I want to go to Body Shop and Cotton On, and Royce Chocolates all at once. Oh, and not to forget, Esprit. What do I do, burn a hole in my man's pocket? Or bone up on lots of knowledge and go on a game show. Or I could.... win the lottery. A warrrm glow creeps into me. I close my eyes and space out, rising up and floating alongside the clouds. Yes, I tell myself. Lottery is by far the best solution.

The littlest investment I can make is $1. I better go to Singapore Pools and get a Scratchit! Card. It works like this:




E.g. 3 matching $10,000 symbols Corresponding prize amount: $10,000

You scratch the panel to reveal 8 dollar symbols. Find three identical ones and you win that amount!!

Of course, winning the jackpot like something ultimate would be going too far. But one of those minor amounts. Say, 100,000$. That would be fabulous. I could get all designer stuff I want, invest in a flat...

No. I need 300,000. Or like half a million. A million should see me through. 1.5. One and a half. It's not being greedy, is it? Please God, Let me win..A LOT. I promise I'll use it properly.

And so on the way out I decide to stop and get the cards. I can just imagine one of those newsreaders going "One cardholder, believed to be in West Coast Singapore, has won an estimated amount of so-and-so."

I almost have a heartstopping moment. What will I do with 10 million?
Well, a huge party.. a get together somewhere posh. That so many storeyed hotel somewhere in CBD. It'll go on through the night with champagne and everything everybody would like. And going home presents. Chanel for the ladies. And.. martinis for men. Or shall I make it wine? I'm not into anything tech or gadget-y. God knows how they figure it out. No. None of the gadgets for them.

Then I'll take care of my family. Buy my mom the house she so wants in Valmiki Nagar. And probably start something for Dad. You name it. A Yoga School/Retreat which Dad always wanted. An NGO with proper investment and longterm finance-capability to see it through, and people working in it 9-5 for implementation and working with clients. The publicity part will be taken care of, of course. And probably get a house for my bro and his wife somewhere suburbish in Chennai, so he can be there whenever he is not overseas. Comfort for life. Did I forget my husband and the family I now belong to? No, by God. My husband should be the principal accountholder. Well, the money's ours, anyway. We're into this equally. Suppose I buy one house for us here and two houses back home, for (my husband's)Amma and Appa. I close my eyes and concentrate. Calculating everything so far, it comes to 4 million, which leaves me 6.

I'll obviously do my bit for less privileged. All of it comes to around 5. My husband;s foundation here for startups and everything will probably have a million stocked in it and they might even name it the Sankaranarayanan foundation or something. It;'s better than simply donating to temples and sitting all weekend long in their committee meetings to decide to go on holidays to Srilanka or something.

Oh, and atleast 5 grnd every month for me to get into anything I please.. and not to forget, the furniture at IKEA I MUST buy before it gets, well, taken. So that leaves... four million, minus...

I am rudely interrupted by that blaring horn. Oh crap. Was it four/five million?

I have a very good feeling as I boogie my way out and dance all the way to meeting Vish.

How to Guide for Software Professionals

2010-07-08T19:11:00.000-07:00

It has always been a dream to write a book that people will find invaluable reading. I just figured and tried to put together all life experience I have had till now, and guess what. I could be Robin Sharma too! I just need to have this amazing hungry need to help people all the time and come up with effective, convincing techniques to (for a sampler) Make This Day A World Class Day or be really good at figuring out what leadership means or what's in right now, philosophically as well as practically.

It is probably impossible to come up with philosophical innuendos whilst faced with something that threatens to be a lifechanging experience, or if you're standing in front of someone you badly want to impress anyway. But hell, you could probably write a book using the simple nice style and it might just be a bestseller and all you know, you'll be in the Metro Section the next DAY.

What might I write, in the event of me being a (potential) award winning author?

Having spent a year gaining a foothold on corporate life and reality referred to as the software company, I feel that I am a qualified authority on that subject. From group conferences to Inhouse, I have observed software life and all of its complexities. Sometime in the next few months I will be out of here, and I will publish my own carefully compiled Software Life Survival Guide.

Little did my colleagues and boss(es) know as they went about their daily routines, I was recording their activities for study by future generations. With my handy guide, every fresher's sojourn in this path can be a little more fruitful. Professionals of the future will learn that the way to settle their differences with peers will not be through violence/backbiting/office politics but through the exchange of Dilbert comics and pinging/indulging your boss. That, not a Tequila, will be the path to true glory and recognition.

A few excerpts:

1. Cafeteria: Do they really know the meaning of *self service*? I dont need a person to monitor me slipping three extra rasgullas into my plate Friday!

2. Office romance: Or, the network is jammed because the lovebirds cause a TRAFFIC online, which the server finds too hard/hot to handle.

3. How to communicate with subhuman individuals who populate the office premises.

4. HR: Who do they think they are kidding?

5. Get Ahead By Forging: The Art of Appearances and Proxies and Influence to get you out of deep shit. :)

Feedback/Assistance Welcome. Please don't email me directly, comment on my blog.

What Birthday Gift for that Special Someone

2010-07-06T18:42:00.000-07:00

Oh My God, I have only been my spouse's partner for 226 days, and already I'm terrific at it. I mean terrific. The wifey thing, I mean. I couldn't even figure out what to get for his birthday. The love of my life, who is the only one I cook for amazingly(aspire to) and all of that. You would think I know what to get the guy.

Nope. Not a clue.

My hairstylist says the only appropriate thing to get for a guy you have been officially married to for less than a year is a SHIRT. I love you Singapore. But ah, romance! Zilch. Nada. I mean, that is so unromantic. That is what I would get my Dad-- six years ago, if he wasnt in need of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and being very careerdriven.

But my HUBBY?

I was blown off at the suggestion, as my hairstylist is the residing/leading Agony Aunt/life expert types. But she stands by what she says, as she has continued giving her steady stream of advice to the (similarly)steady little faithful customer stream that comes to her, and it really works. The rules go this way:

Duration of Marriage Appropriate Gift

1 Year Shirt

2 Years Cologne

3 Years Cigarette lighter

(For a nonsmoker, a swiss penknife or a steady stream of alcohol through the night. Whatever. Like I would go out with a smoker or actually forcefeed him scotch. Oooooh, perfect birthday!)

Still. This present giving thing is a pain. Everybody says something different. Like I called my friend here and asked her what would be good. She said silk boxers.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish she would hurry up and give birth to her baby already, so she would stop acting all hormonish.

Out of desperation, I asked my mom. Now. My mom is the creative type. Artistic and Thoughtful. She asked me to make him something. Mom makes Tanjore Paintings and everything. But I am not my mom. I am no good. Oh MY GOD. I AM NO GOOD!

My dad was next. He said, give him a break and don't torture him with your PJs and cook properly for him and be affectionate!

Whatever Dad. Like anyone uses PJs anymore. I'm no chef, but I'm decent. And no sadist. I CAN be quite nice.

Am I the only person in my family with a teensy-weensy bit of romance in me?

There was no other go. I had to ask my man. Of course if I was the Jenifer Lopez type I would have gotten him THE PERFECT GIFT. Like a Porsche or a house. Forget all COEs and VOEs. I'm in fantasy.

But I'm desperate. I am not J Lo. There is this whole thing about how he is saddled with a normal girl instead of a Bips who can be adventurous and dance and pout and can be self confident without getting zits on the face. I have to surpass every single achievement in my past to make him/do something that he forgets I'm nothing but a fingernailbiting homemaker who happened to do some freelancing.

Of course he said he doesnt want anything, that I am the only thing he needs(if only I could believe this!!!!!). Nuhhhhhhhhhhh. What's a girl to do, I ask you?

I'll tell you what I did. A personalized birthday. Not all big, but what I could do.

And you know what the result was, after tossing in a personalized Coffee Mug, a Harley Davidson Bad Boy (miniature) model (not J Lo. Atleast, not YET!), a Billet-Doux inside a huge Hugs Box alongside the cake cutting ceremony by the twilight?

Divya-Prabandham, they call it..

Credits

Many Thanks to Murugar Perumal at Jurong East for giving me the POWER, the INSPIRATION!

Divya Pattabiraman for sheer existence

Shruti Omprakash for awesomeness

Ashwin Ramanan, Shwetha Ravi for unconditional support(materially and morally)

My hairstylist(who prefers not to be named)

Viswanathan Sankaranarayanan for patience and godly anger management lessons

Wedding Planning

2010-06-22T18:36:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking if I should explore the idea of a wedding-planner before coming back and writing a pop up book for children about careers they want to pursue in life. The same scenario you know. Baby is born, reads the first popup book with pictures, impressionable age as it is, baby is influenced and goes on to become a big whatever I've listed.

So here I am thinking of what I should do on the day of my brother;s marriage without letting him and her on into it. Just watched this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

Now. Picturing MY scenario. Mandapam, everything serene, nadhaswaram, mridangam all set. Before Ponnu Maaplai come in, all us family and friends go into this mission to make the marriage hall as noisy and peppy as possible. We ask the DJ player(my kutti friend) to play a good tamil song. Immediately, the hall resonates with "En uchi mandai la surrrunguthu!" and all vidwans and 40+ and 50+ look up so fast there could be crick-like neck sounds all over. And a small line (of people) starts trickling into the hall. i can so imagine the disapproving looks on my father's and mother's faces. One of them starts shaking a leg and the crowd after a minute actually laughs and looks mockingly as though to ask who amateurishly decided to orchestrate a joke on the date of a traditional Tam Bram wedding. The music stops, as my kutti DJ friend has been told off by his mom(who hasnt been let on into this). I ask my friends to "start music" and the goundamani music comes pouring in, deafening, misting us with its familiarism, sense, and its capability to make us appreciate the humor and absurdity of it all. One of my brother's friends starts doing the dandanakka. It breaks the tension and some people actually start to relax. They come and go in pairs, and then there is the kungfu panda soundtrack. All of a sudden there are karate and kungfu moves. And then my brother enters. I want propper music! He says. Propper lo-ccal madras moosic. And so there is this sudden Pothikkinnu paduthukava music. All grandmothers around the room form a uniform 'O' with their mouths. I can almost see my grandmother mouthing words at me. Scolding me, that is. Yedhu ree, dhrishti maadhri indha moosic andha moosic nu dhappankoothu panradhum koothu panrel! Vera edame kadaikkaliya di maa!? Nanna manamma kalyaanam nu pannina lakshanama naathaswaram, saasthrappadi irukkavendam!?

My brother and sisterinlaw enter. They dance very gently to the ging-chaak tune. And they flawlessly move like, sashay, bailare, across until they end up in the actual medai. There is a burst of applause and balloons burst all over, with confetti all over. The vaadhyar is covered in pink hearts. Ravi can;t bring himself to say the mandhrams and Divya's too busy worried about getting stitches from laughing.

Me and Krupa and Vish to the side, with twinkling eyes. I dont even turn because my father is right opposite me and I am scared to meet his eyes. Oh well, edhallaaam pannirukkom idha mattum pannamaatoma! :D

Disturbia

2009-12-28T16:49:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: The views expressed by the blogger does not necessarily reflect the views of this website, those who link to this website, the blogger's mother, father, brother, sister, boyfriend, girlfriends, uncle, aunt, grandparents, cousins or any other blood relative EXCEPT the blogger herself. Any conclusions you might come to after reading the piece are yours and yours alone, not implied or impressed on purpose.

When I first came here, I was doing a lot of googling as usual and imagine my surprise when I discovered there are a whole LOAD of NGOs dedicated to ruling out human and child trafficking. I was surprised to know prostitution is legalized here, too. Yes, they have rules/fine for jaywalking, chewing food on public transport, and it is illegal to try to romp around without a shirt on(nobody wants to see your abs), and it is actually OK to call the police if your neighbor walks around his home naked and has forgotten to draw the curtains. But yes, its totally OK when it comes to public displays of affection, or did I mention.. chewing gum!?

So.. back to what was being said.. the NGOs have stories of their victims. You have girls from Bangkok and Malaysia offering their services here and repenting openly but not being able to change a thing because the situation demands it and they have mouths to feed back home. The girl says- I'd love to get a decent life- want to be a cashier in a good chain.. and find my way up.. I want my son to be proud of me when he grows up! But I just get a lot of money here, its easier and I am truly scared that they'll take me for a ride once I reform and dig into my past.

Hmmm. I'm thinking of joining an NGO. Want to listen to people and just ask questions, without probing, and see if I can help them and offer comfort.

Imagine this: A teenager with HIV trying to find a boyfriend. Will she eventually find her true love, or will she ever find a lover?
And now, imagine this: This HIV-positive girl grows up with an antagonizing vengeance contributed not by the virus, but by the stigma. What will she do?
Low Kay Hwa’s latest novel, Lilith, tells a story about a HIV-positive woman who was infected due to parent-to-child transmission. Since young, she has been marginalized by society for her illness: No one gave her a second chance. When she was a child, she had no playmates. When she was a teenager, she had no BFF.
When she was sixteen, she said that “when a person’s limit is broken, either she breaks down, or she breaks others. I used to break down. But now, I break others.”
And so, she started to seduce men and have sex with them to infect them with HIV. For if she cannot disregard the fact that she is HIV-positive, then she will make everyone HIV-positive.
“If I cannot get out of hell, I will bring everyone to hell.”
Its like saying.. If I'm going down, I'm getting everyone down with me!
But its touchingly understandable in a way.. to pay back on the same coin.

A child would not react kindly to being ignored. It is in our nature to ask for attention and love and affection. I don't know about you guys, but I need reassurances everyDAY.
And a whole lot I get, too!

Read the disturbing story (place:where I now live), here:

http://www.goodybooks.com/lilith.htm

Indians. Are we touchy?

2009-08-18T23:27:00.000-07:00

"They held me back two hours because My Name is Khan." Isn't that publicity enough? Way to go!

We had an incident involving someone no less than APJ Abdul Kalam. There was minimum fuss. Why can't we go on like that? Frisking you is like drinking water. It is so very routine. Why can't the Indian mindset be programmed to think beyond the perks and fusses encountered back home? Gone are the days when concerned Appa-s and Amma-s looked for Government servants as potential son-in-laws. Yes, corrupt minds thrive. But we're waking up, and the filthy thinkers think twice before letting out a word in public that might endanger their positions.

If I'd been an Indian frisking official, I'd probably frisk Richard Gere twice than was necessary(Please don't blame me, guys, the revenge gene still exists, though recessive). But yes, the official there probably didn't care who Khan was when he was doing his job. Why can't we take a leaf out of that duty-bound-behavior and implement that back home, for us to prevent terrorism and eliminate all chances? Kamal Haasan was also detained at one point in the past, because of his name. He didn't make it to the headlines. But I do remember reading it in The Week. Point: Wake up and stop being all stupid. We Indians have always won lines in International Novels for being nosy and licking fingers in public, alongside peeing(only men, I swear) in the streets(no kissing, that alone would be offensive!). Enough of looking up to foreigners(swine flu? keep away!). I remember going to Hampi in Karnataka where the locals tried their butts' best to befriend foreigners and take pictures with them. The children, mainly aped their parents. India's a friendly country but who wants us to be termed "inferior" because of our happy-go-lucky locals, right? Enough of all that.

We've become spineless fools. When are we growing nerves of steel, tell me. Let India stand proud. Let it not bend to the others. Give respect and take respect. We need Gandhi more than anyone else.. The power is within us. We can do it. Time for all us smart dudes and cool chicks to take over. The government/Sabhas have seen enough flabby tummies and parasites feeding on the nation's resources. Show's over, folks. Why do you think Mani Ratnam's Yuva/Aayudha Ezhuthu flopped???

.... Yes.

And fear flew..

2009-08-13T10:04:00.001-07:00

Everywhere I go, there is a mention of flu doing the rounds. I caved in to the pressure and even sent a forward to friends which asked them to take precautions doing this and that. And then after so much typing, I went to the bathroom, lathered my hands for 20 seconds, sat down on the toilet, and cried.

A test for this dreaded thing sets me back 5K odd. Heck, I could take tamiflu medication for this! I think it is a good thing for India to have reacted fast enough-- atleast Tamil Nadu government to have shut down schools for a week to stop the exponential spread. I had gone this afternoon to have my daily helping of the bananas after lunch. And I failed to swallow it once I saw Caucasians sneezing on the street. Yes, my Indira Nagar neighbourhood, Ladies and Gentlemen. My dad adviced me to get my immunity up and running by doing the basic Pranayama exercise and helping myself to healthier foods. Guess I will really need to do that. I mean, who really wants to be isolated?

On top of all this, now there is discrimination with the haves on the receiving end and the (formerly) susceptible have-nots inflicting the insult/injury. But they shall not remain quiet(they who have never BEEN at the receiving end, so far, have surprisingly offensive retorts)- the upper class H1N1 haves-all pointedly inform you of the exotic origin of their conditions. They picked up the flu on their summer holidays abroad. How DARE you even think they caught it in some random street here?

I hope the pharma institutes and industries back here get a vaccine soon enough. They always perform well under pressure. (Dont we all!).

There is a common Indian belief that when are off for a journey, and someone sneezes, you delay or cancel it. For a change, if someone sneezes next to you, run for your life! Times, they say, are a changing: One man's sneeze is now the other man's tension. Got to introduce third-party insurance in Med-claims too!

Of showbiz and sexuality

2009-07-14T23:51:00.000-07:00

Shiney Ahuja has let me down. This is personally how I felt as soon as I was into the loop. Checking out timesofindia now and then, I wondered how it is that every single person that I develop a crush on, is doomed(atleast for a while). I remember the Gangster movie and how taken I was with this guy. And then ha! Here he comes with an assault up his sleeve. There is another rumor doing the rounds that HE was the one who was raped. I am not going to raise an eyebrow at that. Who knows if the maid was being manipulative and grabbed her shot at publicity? Hey, I am not ruling out Shiney's intentions, too. If Kate Moss could make a comeback after the drug-mayhem-- if a cocaine scandal brings you a Dior/Chanel/Burberry deal, then a maid-in-India *could* (surely)bring you better stories with cooler scripts. After all, if Sanjay Dutt could do it, surely Shiney couldn't be that far behind?

Some guys think they have it all. What is it he said about consensual ***? Essentially, sex would be equated with power, when it comes to high-profile people or positions. You have harrassment cases in the workplace everyday, with the filings against the weaker(!) sex being lesser than what the guys would want it to be ;) While I am all OK with the females being sued, you will have to agree with me, that females aren't stupid enough to be caught with their pants down like Hugh Grant was, in Vegas. So what was Shiney doing, getting himself in such a sticky place? Good on you, dude, I might even agree with you if you say you're going to be on the A-list from now. Producers are going to be waiting at your doorstep. The Bachchan Bahu will take notice of you and might even do a Shabd-II, insisting that you're someone who is an amazing co-actor, superbly professional. The fact that you thought it was your birthright to get sexual favors from your maid might not even MATTER. You're a celebrity, woo-hoo! Welcome to Bollywood, at last ;) But yeah, I hate you.

Speaking of sexuality, I do not understand the furore over the High Court giving the gay-couples its blessing. Why the furore? Why even oppose anything you do not understand? Why fight just for the SAKE of it? Why can't we be more broadminded? Why is legalizing something so wrong? I remember telling one of my friends I wanted to visit Amsterdam. He gave me a weird look. This was when I was in my tenth standard ;) He then told me the place was known for legalizing prostitution. I remember thinking what was wrong with that? It is a free country. And people are shuddering in India, thinking we're going to do an Amsterdam next. Well what is so wrong about that? Movies are made about sex workers and the audiences absolutely lap them up-- look no further than Chameli or Laaga Chunari Mein Daag!- In Tamil I remember watching "Arangetram" by K Balachander wherein a Brahmin girl resorts to prostitution to help her family prosper. It wass simply a solution according to her. And became a way of life. Legalizing it would simply mean, it would be brought down to a much lower level, as I believe it feeds and thrives on clandestinity. They say India is a free country. If you have a free will, nothing would prevent you from going out and seeking favors. If you're a man, you would stick to morality. If not, well it's upto you! The country should not bother about every individualistic sentiment. Instead of us contributing together toward the betterment of the nation, it is, ridiculously, the nation(represented by some high-sounding props) that is thinking for a minority. When is this going to change? Let us channel this furore toward thinking of a solution for a developed country and to eradicate poverty.. Why not a move to pro-actively work toward good causes than simply have some charcha over whether or not girls are allowed to pleasure other girls?

Microsoft: Strong?

2009-06-30T09:58:00.000-07:00

Just a year back, Bill Gates relinquished his day-to-day responsibilities at Microsoft, to concentrate on the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Fair enough. This is what all of them men do, anyway. I know Narayana Murthy did that. I actually admire the people who are gutsy enough to hand over responsibility of the organizations they founded.. and finding the right person to hand it over, too, is a Herculean task. Nandan Nilekani and Steve Ballmer proved their mettle over time, and inevitably continued as CEO/Co-Chairman of the respective corporations(Nilekani resigned June 2009)

I think Microsoft has been acting a lot defensively of late. Would things have been the same, what with the company's Azure Plans? And the Laptop Hunter Ad campaign, that was targeted at Apple? Every project that has floated-- every product has more or less been a reaction to a competitor's version already existing in the market. For all the hype about Bing, I don't know if I will use it much, because I am so tuned to Google, but a search engine from Microsoft was not expected... A Microsoft insider, who happens to be a friend, answers that it is a question of survival, when I asked why the company had to publicly acknowledge the competition. It is automatically assumed that you are trying hard not to be left behind in the mad race(whatever the goal might be). If you're a winner, why do you have to finetune your actual mission in the corporate/public domain? Google came for search. It branched into Mail, and social networking(Orkut) and video/image hosting for Picasa and stuff. Fine. But Microsoft, having come as a corporation for bringing personal computer to the masses, should it really divert itself -- by bringing into existence a search engine service where it is already clear who the winner is/has been for so long?

Over the next few months, the Redmondians are about to embark on *the biggest launch wave in Microsoft history* according to the company. New versions of Windows, Office, Windows Mobile and Visual Studio are coming, as are the Zune HD, the Natal Xbox controller and the *final* Azure cloud operating environment. It seems Gates’ day-to-day absence hasn’t put the brakes on the Microsoft new-product train.

Would Microsoft be seen as a more formidable, stronger company if Gates were still its primary talking head and Chief Software Architect? Or was it time for Gates to move on to other things, notably, his foundation, making way for new ideas and new blood? I am still thinking. How is Microsoft now? *Drumroll, please* Stronger or weaker? Do let me know. I want to know what you're thinking.

Garma Garam Chai... and Business Ideas

2009-06-28T09:34:00.000-07:00

It has just come to my notice that there are no longer the good ol' tea and coffee shops that we covet at the end of the day, whether it be a long draining shopping exercise or running about all touristy with friends. Unless it is a tourist spot. What happened to metropolitan cities' Little Shops that provided momentary relief when we needed them? All I see when I turn around are Coffee Days and Baristas and Godbless, MacDonalds. I don't want to shell out some fifty odd for a steaming cuppa, okay? I don't know what they say about Kalmane Koffee here that is said to be a signature brand in the city, but even it joins the expensive-brigade.

Today being a Sunday I rambled out and went to the Total Mall as I wanted to have Garlic Bread-- as the weather sort-of teased my taste buds and I was unable to relinquish the pangs and there was a case of excess salivation(really, Amma, I miss your thattai and murukku and the hot sweet ginger tea you make and the chats we share while looking out the balcony). Having had my fill, I looked round if there was a place I could have some hot filter kaapi, and darn-it, couldn't find one. Having no choice, I went back to MacDonald and had to get hot tea(nowhere near home). Gulping it down with great difficulty, I looked up and asked an in-charge if there was ANY place in the whole MALL where I could get Kaapi. Response: Amused grin. "No ma'am, we have cold coffee." Why not hot!?!??! "Because cold coffee is IN, right now, Madam." I don't care what's in, what's out, I want it HOT! OK, What else do you have? "Coke. All soft drinks." I meant HOT. Wince. "No Madam. Everything is cool." Of all the daft, absurd, loony, laughable..!

I felt like that customer in that joke book with the waiter jokes. "Waiter do I have to wait here until I die of starvation?" "No Sir, we close at six o clock." Hmmm, except, I didn't crack a rib laughing over it this time. I looked skyward and petitioned the Almighty, questioning him if today was my guinea-pig-day. The sky rumbled in response, and it started pouring. Oh Great. I guess He was laughing so hard He had tears coming.

Why do we have to give up things that clarify our comfort-zone.. Like hot cups of beverages.. We do not go by the rules of the West.. We do not have burgers and soft drinks for breakfast. We're more realistic and deep down know that it would be much, much better to go by the traditional Dosai/Sambar/Chutney Combo and a swig of (dark) joe. Why can't we aim to become developed by still hanging on to our old niceties and tradition?

I almost made my mind up to go to the railway station, where I could get decent cups of chai. But I didn't. Luckily, I found a Sukh Sagar nearby and duly went in and had some. Something better than nothing!

I really need to start a coffee business. I think the urge is growing stronger. Feedback, potential sponsors/investors, business advisors: welcome. :P What is the essential need-- that you feel has not had justice done to it? Lets see if we can take it forward. According to me, it was coffee outlets and proper coffee/chai availability/service this evening. Do not frown. There is more than half probability of this decision having been an emotional one, rather than some remote possibility of being an EconomicTimesBusinessIdea Finalist one as there was too much blood in my caffeine system, and I KNOW the decision I made was at an emotional low. ;) But I am much more in favor of simple, out-of-the-box ideas than ones involving software or technology. Give me a Sarath Babu who originated Food King Catering for a purpose, or a Shahnaz Husain or an E-Bay. Actually E-Bay has me hooked. I heard it was founded by Pierre Omidyar(CEO) to help his fiancee get rid of her broken printer. It might/might not be true, but some stories stick.

Please let your imagination run wild.. and think. Do you have anything to dispose of, that could actually help me find a multimilliondollar company? I'll put you on the board of directors, and you'll have my ear. And you'll make money when the company floats onto the stock market. :P

(Now whats that I hear about counting chickens wayy ahead of time? Shut up! Abdul Kalam has told me to dream, dream and dream!)

Mike! RIP

2009-06-28T01:14:00.000-07:00

It is definitely hard to find some cyber-space where someone has something nice to say about Mike Jackson. We loved his music. I am listening to *Beat It* as I write. What wondrous music. I remember being just about 6 years old when Black or White used to play on TV. It was so darn catchy and I remember thinking, wow, I love this guy. I was probably too young to identify suggestive dance moves at that time and my brother and me just lala-ed all the way. And he definitely didn't tell me about it, the bummer. :P Anyway, he was dancing amongst people-- of all different cultures in the world..(Bharatanatyam from India, South Asian-- wasn't able to make out which-- and African). And then you know, I was stuck with Liberian Girl and Remember the Time. He made real, real nice music and he knew it, too.

I refuse to judge such an incredible performer on the basis of his personal life. He performed, and that was it. He was King in his time. Who can forget Heal The World, and the Earth Song? Which other musician you know used his public power, as a weapon to make everyone tune to his message? Even if child-abuse is something I will not stand. OK, I am not going on a crusade to defend this guy. But seriously, you guys. His plastic surgery was laughed at. But people make mistakes. Of course, you know what they say about empty vessels.

I loved Mike because he was the first person to have anyone think of racism, and he used his star power to influence views in a good way. I remember how mad I got at my Dad when my Mike Jackson CD that was on his laptop disappeared. I remember Dad getting mad at me, too. And my mom and brother laughed. They always do. ;) They will, after reading this. OK. Point made. Mike has done a lot of good music, and I think I am right about him donating and supporting good causes. Anyway. Mike. Here's to you. RIP.

You better run, you better do what you can

Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man

You wanna be tough, better do what you can

So beat it, but you wanna be bad

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

No one wants to be defeated

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it

Naanga laam ipdi thaan :)

2009-06-24T00:23:00.000-07:00

The movie title had me fooled. I had absolutely no idea I was in for a riot of a movie when my mates suggested I watch it with them. And I wanted to indulge them, anyway(If I go the same way, my brother Ravi fears I am Mother Teresa in the making -- he thinks I am too compassionate toward other's needs. Thanks Ravi)-- It is a whole lot satisfying when others around you are happy, and you contribute to the warm setup. And then it started. How long have I been waiting for someone to make a movie like this! I was totally, entirely, unequivocally unprepared for its impact.. and benumbed! Cinema at its terrific crest-- what do you get when you have a bunch of kids that constitute the protagonist and the villains? It is so raw and honest! The frames come and go and you realize the kids and their impressions, their influences, models, and idols. It is so laugh-out-loudish and brutally, brutally honest.

Here's to the Pasanga! Having slipped into the multiplexes without so much of a paal-abhishekam("Sivaji" in New York, anyone?) or the handicap of plain, plain hype-cum-publicity and then resulting in nothing, NO structured screenplay and disconnection(The TEN forgettable avatars of Kamal Haasan), this had me gasping for breath. This should be made compulsory viewing for everyone in TamilNadu(sorry, outside TamilNadu, unglukku enga Tamil humor, mannerisms laam puriyadhu, odi poidungo). This is so darned wild and original. Here, at last, is some flick that does not boast of skin or stupid dumb heroines running round trees or aged heroes seducing(!) the willing-to-be-seduced crowd.. or insufferable comedians trying to talk themselves out, exhausting us to the very end.. Or stunt sequences.. or sheer fantasy.. (Manmathan, anyone? The very scene where he flies up and down the building, singing about his love had us stuffing our hankies in our mouths to keep from laughing) or never-ending songs.. (foreign locales, seriously!) Seriously, sometimes entertainment produced for the aam-admi is consumed by the aamir with endless apetites. And even if, if, the B- and C-sectors lap up the show like there's nothing to beat the lure of show-business. When reeltime heroes turn real-time ones, you can safely say there are better people to emulate. Even then, some roles do deserve credit and appeal to the thinking man-- Mudhalvan was a good enough choice, as it was something new to all of us when it struck. So was Anbe Sivam. But crowds want RajniKanth who twirls his chair three times before going on another dialogue(In times of disaster, Rajini is the master, haa--haa-haaa!) (Don't cry, it's okay) or non-veggie jokes(I really cannot understand how that is ALL they want). Pasanga is so close to my heart. Watch it!

Strange. It takes kids to penetrate the facade and show us who we really are. All those filmmakers who win awards(Sethu? and Paruthi Veeran!) and parade as geniuses for making gory, derivative movies that pretend to tell the asli story, should use "Pasanga" as a reference point.... an education. "Pokkiri", "Dashavtaram" enga, "Pasanga" enge? Thats not even close. Technically, we're already there. Please sign up to be director Shankar's Assistant Director and you've got it sorted :P But that's where it ends. Our scripts and stories are paavam and pathetic. And yeah, guess what? Most ideas are 'borrowed'(Pachaikili Muthucharam? Jay! Jay!? And yes, Virumaandi was inspired by Akiro Kurosawa's Rashomon. There's more) Which is why none of the present lot of top bracket filmmakers in India cannot ever aspire to get anywhere close to Slumdog. And the Oscars. Like Oscars is a big deal. Now that would be something to argue. But that's another issue. Another day. Good day :D

Thou shalt not discriminate against thy fellowmen.

2009-06-03T00:29:00.000-07:00

It is with the utmost sorrow and anguish that I write this in the wake of the events Down Under. While it is utter stupidity to conclude that Australia is a nation out to chase out foreign visitors and students(I'd grown up with the notion that Australians are like, a warm people) the repeated attacks(with no real base-- a dollar- I don't have a dollar, so jump me!- come on, who're we kidding?) are indeed cause for *some* apprehension.

Well, actually, on introspection, there is a lot of discrimination in our own country within our own fellowmen. How many times have I felt mad about the fact that SC/ST reservations were the reason for me not to get a free medical seat? Or how many times have so many other people felt the same way, in my own region? But fact remains that, we need to definitely have space and treat them important, as they were wronged in the past. We can only hope for make up for it by (doing the least) giving them a chance in the society which cruelly oppressed them in the past.

So well, I think I understand the feeling of frustration of whites when they feel they are being denied their rights to work and be employed in their own country. But would THEY stay put if something happened to one of their kind(yes, I discriminate!) in OUR country? Orey the kalavaram, to sum it up, in my language. If, for instance, some Indian goons beat up some firangis(racial twist, again? don't blame me, its the environment!) When our students go abroad to study, they pay enough for them to atleast be ensured security and good surroundings that do not necessarily enforce racism as one concern before zeroing in on a country or a location before they set sail on the tour for purely fulfilling professional ambitions. I sometimes think we should make a lot more fuss than we actually do. Face it, our Indian students best anybody once they set their minds to it. Obviously, it is little more than covetousness, enviousness?

Racism is formed upon ignorance, stereotyping as well as schooled hatred. Many people accept how you live in a opposite multitude currently as well as you conclude opposite cultures. However, there have been still vast segments of multitude which won’t accept tellurian capacities have been not dynamic by race. Do we really want to ape another Hitler, whose mission started along the same lines? "If I can send the flower of the German nation into the hell of war without the smallest pity for the shedding of precious German blood, then surely I have

the right to remove millions of an inferior race that breeds like vermin." And that was him at his peak. We're all human. We should probably stay away from anything that brands us inhuman.

Anyway. The time is ripe for us to rethink our holiday destinations. Australia definitely wont be on my map. Too bad for you mateys. ;) Why go someplace that you're not wanted? Then again, may be we should focus our energies in a positive direction rather than being anti-something. Kind of like supporting a peace rally instead of encouraging an anti-war rally. That could have a better success rate, you know.

Yes, so Switzerland, here I come ;)

Okay. I just have to recall what I read in To Kill A Mockingbird, by Harper Lee. Atticus Finch, who represents Tom Robinson(the wrongly accused Negro) explains to his little daughter (who is at an impressionable age), who is teased in school as a Nigger-lover(since her dad defends a *black*):

“As you grow older Scout, you'll see white men cheat black men every day of your life, but let me tell you something and don't you forget it - whenever a white man does that to a black man, no matter who he is, how rich he is, or how fine a family he comes from, he is trash.”

A few things..

2009-05-19T00:10:00.000-07:00

The verdict is out. So? Big deal. Glad as I am about Manmohan Singh about retaining the Prime Seat, I don't feel like going blah-mode. Jai Ho, Sonia. She's one hell of a woman. Alongside some gupshup I heard about DMK winning in the South(I'm Tamil, I just cannot resist mentioning this!) I felt a little let down that Amma JJ hadn't showed some majority. Call me shallow.. But I think JJ is a lot more posh for politics. She might whack her foes with the adi-aals she has and Valarmathi at her side, whipping those asses shouldn't be so difficult. Thats when the real addi-dhaddi and galatta will start. What is it about Karunanidhi that bugs me so much?

Before you can say ‘Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam’, Kanimozhi would probably head the Ministry for Child and Women Welfare Development in Dilli. The lady JJ seems to think is being given too much importance than she actually warrants. God help both. I like Kanimozhi for standing up for freedom of speech, and backing Khushboo when she made that statement about girls having to exercise proper precaution in relationships. What I liked even more was that Sharat Kumar who was in the DMK at that time had made a public statement about how Khushboo had said something totally taboo(really, all male chauvinist PIGS!) and was forced to retract his statement when Kanimozhi breezed in and spoke what she thought was an ideal right for all Indians :) But Karunanidhi, kinda grosses me out. Its time. He's gotta step down. Is it his appearance or image? Is it his coarse tongue? His sticking to Tamil? His non-sophistication? Or is it something else? Do I despise him because he is this social embarrassment?

I cannot picture what conversation Bill Gates would have made when he met the then CM- I somehow strongly felt good when he came during JJ's term as well. On the other hand.. can you imagine Karuna smiling ending up in a grimace and clutching Bill's hands tighter than he wanted it? Or meeting and greeting Steve Ballmer when he comes to visit? ? Even worse – what will Jorma Ollila think of that frail figure with a brashness about it when he comes round for some MOU Dayanidhi might have got on(Oh yeah, now he's in, which department? waiting to know!)

I've had it with his Tamil and his voice and Anbirkuriya Tamizh makkale. The bottomline is Karuna makes us cringe(and I might as well speak for fellowmen who support me in this view) because we can’t handle his rustic personality and his white veshti and yellow shawl and WHITE SLIPPERS and we all know it.

But you know, for all his claiming to be an atheist, he had SaiBaba invited to his nest after the Latter relieved Chennai of its water scarcity. Look at the complete contrast. JJ(a devout Iyengar- what you'd call a Vaishnavite Brahmin by birth) had the Shankaracharya arrested on a murder charge. Add to it some womanizer claims and you got it covered. All of us were understandably shocked at the involvement of this apparently-spiritual trust and the head's tryst with politics and something so - dirtily- perverse. However, my source tells me that this arrest was orchestrated duly because of some deeper controversy we're better off not knowing. Amma, while she was on the lookout for allies, could have bonded with Sonia at the center. Looks like she had a mild case of jealousy and nerves or insecurity(that is so natural, we dont blame you JJ, you're human, after all)- and so hurriedly cut off ties with Sonia. And therefore the BJP showed up. For an understanding(what you cut-and-right call a recommendation or a reference back home) the Shankaracharya promptly acted as a liason. Which meant some money exchanged hands and the BJP told JJ to simply deposit money in the Kanchi trust. When something went wrong with the BJP and a fraction of the money had to be returned, the Kanchi mutt said it had no knowledge of how the money went missing(and nobody in their right minds would believe the Kanchi Shankaracharya, right?) JJ promptly threw him into jail. When I politely inquired about JJ's close circle and advisors like Cho Ramasamy(another devout Hindu who I expected would respect ANY Hindu religious math) and why they hadn't advised her against such drastic measures, I was told even Cho had deposited a sum in the mutt. And was all OK for the big step that was to be taken. Did a murder really have to take place like THAT? Which goes on to prove that appearances don't matter at all and however polished you might be on the exterior, you might have a Cooum stink inside after all. And you'll be found one fine day, when you're walking the corridors of power. You'll fall hard if you've climbed that high(hook/crook).

I just heard about LTTE Prabakaran's death. Flashing news on every channel. Well. I don't know if I have any sympathy. The cause was allright. But his biggest fault was killing Rajeev Gandhi like that. Anyway.. Sure, an era ends for them. May the Tamils make peace.

Lokaa Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu.

Lokaa Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu :)

May peace prevail!

Flash SMS. : no comment :P

2009-04-29T21:46:00.000-07:00

Babe bloopers

2009-04-14T23:33:00.000-07:00

Head trip to.. reality?

2009-03-16T00:06:00.000-07:00

New Year Resolutions

2009-01-03T01:55:00.000-08:00

Tagged :D

2008-12-21T22:37:00.000-08:00

Sheeeesh. Playing tag as a kid probably got to me, finally.
Whoever thought I'd take part in chain mails(or their types).
Anyway thoughts arent ever constant. Some things in life have big question marks on them. Some, some resolved I guess for me.
The 20 series comes up again. I present:
20 things I was asked to fill and tried doing.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Seriously, he wouldn't. He just wouldn't!

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
I'd really like to talk to dolphins. And elephants.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
Osama Bin Laden. For opposing music on religious grounds. I am not even kidding.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Give a half of it to my mom.
The rest, will splash it on a tour round the world(no, not alone :D)
Oh yeah, and start on an elephant sanctuary!

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
Nnnyeaaah. Well my soulmate would happen to be my best friend. So yeah I'm best friends with my soulmate :D

6. Who do you think should make the first move? (Original Q: Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?)
I'm all for equality ;)
But I wouldnt have the guts to do it myself!

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
303 days.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
If it's meant to happen, its MEANT to happen! Maktub!

9. If you like to act with someone, who will it be? Your gf/bf or an actress/actor?
A little bit of both. Well basically practice with your bf and do a class act with the actor!

10. What takes you down the fastest?
Roadside sugarcane juice. With a dash of lemon.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
Growing my kids and having learned enough to be teaching them calculus ;) and working for fulfilment.

12. What’s your fear?
Getting carried away by materialistic things. Or getting to be a shallow (person) deep down(oxymoron?)

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?Uhm. Somebody who's intelligent enough not to screw things up ;)

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Rich...? No.
Married "but" poor? As long as I'm happy..!

15. WHat’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Blink ;)

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
Yes. yes. YES!

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
I'd pick myself. I dont want to die of embarrassment. That scenario *twiddles fingers* is *never* bound to happen!

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
Yes. Everyone makes mistakes.

19. If its your last day and you have one call to make, whom would you call? Dont tell me your mom. Someone else. (Original qn:What are your three most important expectations in love )
My boss. Asha Viswanathan. And tell her how I can't wait to get to be like her one day. I mean, be a boss. Like her. Anyday.

20. List 6 people to tag:
Ravi
Div
Arun
Shyam Sundar
Gee(Khushi)
Santosh

OK, I'm outta here!

Varta
(Ravi's influence!)

War against Terror: Proactive measures

2008-12-10T21:00:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: The views expressed by the blogger does not necessarily reflect the views of this website, those who link to this website, the blogger’s mother, father, brother, sister, boyfriend, girlfriends, uncle, aunt, grandparents, cousins, any other blood relative EXCEPT the blogger herself. Any conclusions you might come to after reading the piece are yours and yours alone, not implied or impressed on purpose.

It was inevitable that I write this, what with the terror attack on Mumbai. I cannot just light candles. It's not like we do anything to help anyway. I asked my Dad, "Whats the idea?" and he said "Moral support." Oh, fine. Fat lot of good it does them anyway.
I don't know when they will hit next, or where, or who. Everyone seems to be a target. You guys, the day I want to see is the day I write in my blog "I am so happy there is world peace." Stop terrorizing us, will ya!?
Us, adopting the Gandhian approach is what makes them attack again and again and again. Mr Gandhi, we love you, we're proud of you, but like so many others before me, I am so sorry to say, with the utmost regret- I have started to become cynical and want instant results. Non violence as a principle- in this world- war-torn nations- children crying- blood everywhere- us as a nation being subject to repeated attacks- is it going to help us find a solution to Pakistan? I still haven't lost hope of good people existing in any geographical location in any corner of the world- be it Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq, Amreeca, Australia, ANYWHERE!- I am not prejudiced when it comes to any nation. But when we read news items where Pakistan says it will NOT hand over terrorists if their origin is established to be Pak itself, I am forced to confront what I earlier dismissed as just criticism,- that Pak is actually behind these attacks. You guys, we're as nice as we can get. If Pak had been at the receiving end, do you know what torture they would have put India through? Not that we're perpetrators of violence. I am proud of my country. But then, this has GOT to be resolved.

Whats with Zardari? I dont understand him at all. I guess if you're a politician, chances are (more or less in your favor) you're corrupt. Well you know what? We start thinking like politicians, it'll help us become terrorists.

Hence there are a few things we need to DO.
Is everyone listening? OK, ((deep breath)). Here I go.

1. Recognize Pakistan as a perpetrator. In other words, terrorist state. Their state POLICY is to destroy India. There is no necessity to humor them from our side. What is enough is enough.

2. We should categorically, unambiguously, unequivocally boycott Pakistan in all aspects for a decade or more. Be it art, music, economy, commerce, or other hand-holding activities. That army-controlled state has to realise that it has done enough damage to global civilisation.

3. Even if I can be Pro-Congress sometimes, I think all of us in the country should unite and not just play the part of the stereotyped opposition party in sheer criticism of whatever the ruling party does. We should realize that once you rule the country- it is taken for granted that you have good intentions. With great power comes great responsibility(thanks Spiderman!)- and so, what the Americans think, or what the Europeans think is not relevant at all, we just DO what we have to do, it is for us to be determined and be focussed and fight the war. In fact, it was GREAT of Manmohan Singh to say "India needs NO help" at a critical time. That was testimonial enough to a strong leader in the making(I meant, as a country)

4. Stop talking to leaders who say "Where is the proof that we have done so and so in so and so situation?" No shit. Get lost, idiots.

5. NEVER have any illusion of Pak changing at all. They're always jealous of us. All old talk of "Truth always triumphs" has got us snoring loudly without beds and pillows. Start ignoring them strongly.

6. it is important that religion is not the focus here. The target is the terror central, namely Pakistan, and if there are elements helping them here then they also should be punished -- irrespective of religious labels. If Pakistan is dismantled and the idea of Pakistan is gone, many of our domestic issues will also be sorted out.

7. Encourage all scientists/academicians of Pakistan and urge them strongly to apply for an Indian passport. Ask media channels to widely publicize it. Let this embarrass them and destroy them.

8. Cricket and Bollywood are the opium of the Indian middle classes. Both have been adequately manipulated/ controlled by the Dawood-company since the eighties. Chase the Dawood-company money in cricket/ Bollywood and punish by burning Dawood-assets in India instead of trying to have them auctioned by the IT department when nobody comes to bid for it.

9. Discourage companies from India from investing in Pakistan, particularly IT companies, till Pakistan stops exporting its own IT (international terrorism).

10. Provide for capital punishment to those who fund terror and help in that. We have the division in the finance ministry to monitor money laundering, etc. It is important that terror financing is taken seriously and fully integrated into money laundering monitoring systems and this division is provided with much larger budget and human resources.

Lastly learn from previous mistakes. Don't be misled by shows of cooperation at critical times. Old habits die hard.
Its time for us to act tough and BE tough.
Its all in our hands now!
Lets see how it goes. We have remained mute for so long.
Proactive time starts....

I love India! OK, this is SO going to be my status message.
I love India again.
Hey this feels good.
India, you're the best!

OK. Jaishree, you're the best!

((Doesnt somebody(anybody!) say that!?))

Hehe.
Later.

Google Chrome! Big DEAL!

2008-09-03T06:29:00.000-07:00

FIX your flawed DNS. NOW!

2008-07-16T02:56:00.001-07:00

Yoga, anyone?

2008-06-10T21:23:00.000-07:00

If You're a Kid in a Tamil Movie

2008-06-03T07:41:00.000-07:00

1. If you are paralyzed from waist-down, you just need to see your (helpless) mother being attacked by extremely mean persons and you will be able to get up and save her.

2. If you are a dwarf or have less limbs than your twin but have an ingenuous mind, it is probably because the villain tried to do you in before you came into the world against his wishes.

3. Even if you are three years old and live with your mother who is mentally deranged you give her an oil bath, feed her during mealtimes and cry when she doesn't respond to your touch. In other words, you have the emotional maturity of a thirty year old.

4. If you are the older son you will invariably have a sister who is the apple of your eye and who probably is most likely to marry your best friend after growing up, even if that leads to a few clashes between you and your friend before the inevitable transition to being a brother-in-law.

5. You have the enviable quality of making crops grow and just when you think everything is lost, there is rain, giving you hope and a new lease on life. That is the threshold of your new life, where you finally become landlord after uncompromising hardwork and there is more. You'll probably find your soulmate somewhere in the same field. You look at her and you're enveloped in bright sunlight, and yeah, big surprise, she's the light o' your life.

6. You're always the underdog. You're always this poor little fellow with brains and less brawn but do NOT come off worst in a fight. You actually ignore the taunts from school mates who are well off and the richest snobbish prettiest girl falls for you.

7. When you come of age you are introduced to booze and things that are taboo and the sequence of COURSE includes an item song which tells you the facts of life.

8. You can perform a series of astonishing gymnastics when confronted by a group of menacing grown ups having steel chains and dangerous weapons.

9. You fall in love. And you have a song in Switzerland where you dance around wearing leather coats and it doesn't ever occur to you, dimwit that you are, that your girl is actually dancing with you, slowly freezing due to lack of clothing.

10. If you meet a girl who is too beautiful to exist, chances are she's a diamond smuggler or schizophrenic. She'll probably try to teach you tricks after recruiting you early to her 'golden' circle. And you grow up to be a crook. You finally see the error of your fractious ways but then it's too late. And you end up going to jail. But wait, you're probably bailed out after that and end up being Vice Chancellor of some amazing university. You. Yes. You. It is of no significance that you don't know how to read or write.

11. If you are envied by your friends for your socialite status, chances are, you were probably adopted by rich people who were responsible for your parents being killed one rainy night while driving to the hospital. :) And you'll get to know it soon :)

Worst starting lines.

2008-04-06T07:28:00.000-07:00

When I was smaller I used to go gaga over high-sounding speeches and writing. I thought I should improve my vocabulary to impress people and wanted to be capable of speaking high-frequency words. I then happened to read an article that said-- SIMPLE writing was an art. Only after reading that column could I grasp my shallow -- or should I say-- *lame* technique of making my essay look impressive using BIG words.

My English teacher-- Mrs Ann wanted to ensure my sentence construction be SIMPLER and SHORTER. She gave a couple of scenarios and asked me to write starting lines for novel-plots.
After six years I rummaged through my cupboard and found-- amongst all other things-- my paper scraps from her essays. May be I should enclose the serious sounding(sober, present version) first and the six-years-ago version next so you can see how I've grown. :)

I present--

Scenario 1: The sun rising. One fine day.

Present Version: The sun rose over the hill, gradually moving, slipping over the slight hill.

Former(WORST) Version: The sun, which much resembled the yolk of a sunny-side up egg, set over the slight hill like a cheerio falling off the back of a spoon when a spoon is upside-down on a table and a cheerio is set on top of it.

Scenario 2: Romance.

Present Version: It was six in the evening. Annie and Paul revelled in the solitude and silence, him looking deep into her eyes. And then something snapped. Something nagged him. And then he knew it. The ghosts were back. I need the job, he thought.

Former Version: Our story begins with Paul, gently touching Annie’s raven hair, gazing into her coal-dark eyes, eyes that reminded him of the blackness of the inside of a size 11 shoebox, which in turn reminded him he needed to get his Hush Puppies re-soled before that job interview next week with the owner of the janitorial service.

Scenario 3: Medical.

Present Version: She surveyed herself in the mirror. And she knew it was only a matter of time before she succumbed to it, whatever it was.

Former Version: She posed before the unblinking mirror, as her private surgeon hovered around her, tightening the straps on her custom-made girdle, and it dawned on her for the first time in her pampered, overindulged fifty years, that it was only a matter of time before she would succumb to Furniture Disease, and her chest would fall into her drawers.

Scenario 4: Tragedy

Present Version: He felt one pull, then another, then another. He was being sucked into the whirlpool and there wasn't a single thing he could do about it.

Former Version: Like a baleen whale inhaling krill–a collection of small marine crustaceans of the order Euphausiacea–or an anteater sucking up Formicidae– characteristically having wings only in the males and fertile females and living in colonies that have a complex social organization– he got sucked into the vortex.

Scenario 5: Extra Terrestrial

Present Version: 'Warn the Command Central that the life-pod is exploding in eight seconds,' Captain Buzz ordered. The Vjorkog at the Communications Desk immediately got to work.

Former Version: 'Send a message back to Command Central on Earth and ask for their advice, which we will be able receive immediately even at this great distance, thanks to the ingenious manipulation of coherent radiation through a Bose-Einstein condensate and the bizarre influence of the atmosphere,' Captain Buzz told the feathered Vjorkog at the communications desk, 'and tell them our life-pod is going to explode in eight seconds.'

Wow. I look at them and think, that was ME? Gawd. Hope I don't think the same of the PRESENT ten years from now.

What Is Most Likely To Happen In The Future?

2008-04-03T02:32:00.000-07:00

As there was a fest in my college and Creative Writing was part of the tech-fest and culturals, I got thinking about one of the topics meant to recognize the 'streak' in you. What's beckoning? A future full of lights? More Global Warming?(Sorry. Couldn't resist. Even if this is the MOST written about topic in the WORLD). Everything condensed? Chip like? Hmm. I just wrote what appealed to me. Be my guest ;)

1. In the future there are going to be absolutely no keyboards. Ha. You wish. Computer chips will be implanted in our brains(ever heard of the Matrix?) and we'll be online all the time, even when we're sleeping. Eavesdropping on people's dreams will be a wonderful new sport.

2. In the future our gadgets will be so high-tech that no one would know how to navigate their menu controls. And they will be miniatured to near-invisibility. Most people won't even be able to find theirs. They'll have to buy new ones again and again.

3. Actually, in the future nature will retake the planet. Again, men will spend their time getting drunk, and making up games with round things and sticks until vines consume them. Just like last time.

4. In the future, people won't have to waste time with food any more: no more shopping for food, preparing food, cooking food, eating food, washing dishes that contained food! We'll be able to live on oxygen & sunlight - just like plants.

5. In the future, everyone will have a happiness chip implanted in their brains and finally we will all be truly happy.

6. The entire world will laugh like this. *Knuck knuck knuck knuck KNUCK!!*

7.In the future, you'll just skim over my typos and stop being so critical. Especially considering my future looks so bleak!

8. In the future prophecy will become commonplace, predictions will multiply, and the majority of mankind will know what's going to happen three days before it does.

9. In the future prices will fluctuate wildly. One day a loaf of bread will be a dollar then the next day - 100 dollars. But wages will never vary. ;) That's life for you ;)

10. In the future life will be so wonderful that we will all have to carry a box of tissues with us because we will be constantly laughing and crying tears of joy.

LOL. Comments invited.

Forecast. Race. My take.

2008-02-22T01:55:00.000-08:00

Jaishree,
Don't get in the middle of an argument about race, culture, education or religion today. Keep yourself out of it, no matter how juicy or tempting the topic. You could risk alienating a friend or companion who is important in your career ambitions.

Huh? Huh? This was from a site that claimed to predict my day's forecast. What the !
Of COURSE I am going to get into this. The thick of it.

Speaking of RACE, what first hits me? The American election.
I have been thinking of Obama and Hillary. America probably NEEDS a president who will strive to make invisible the barriers of race, culture and religion(did you say BLACK? F*** you!). Why do I support Obama? Underdog? The people who would have laughed at me earlier actually wouldn't, now. Why am I so against Hillary, even if I can be a convincing feminist?
Because, this is not about winning the race as a woman. This is about the best person winning. And why do I back Obama, even if Clinton knows more? Because I seriously think energetic people like Obama should be given a chance, more than Clinton's expertise. We all need to be introduced to a new approach.

And why do I think I need to give space on my blog to some Amreecan election? Because, I think, it should set a good example. One cannot deny that things go unnoticed in one of the most attacked and powerful nations in the world today.
Why do I think my nation should be influenced by some stupid powerful country that actually has some jerks looking down upon Indians, Spaniards, and Africans? Because, it is essential to learn positive things, even from the enemy.

Weirdo weirdo!

2008-02-11T05:03:00.000-08:00

I recently took a test, recommended by BalaBooms(thanks).
I thought I'd just post. My friends tell me I'm weird. But I think I am as normal as can be. I mean wiping water off the table 32 times or washing my hands after touching everything cannot be all that abnormal! Right? ;)

Google- A new perspective?

2008-02-08T00:30:00.000-08:00

I always got a lot of respect for the Google site. It was(is?) one of those popular webpages dedicated to ONLY search-- like, one of those times you went to the mall to get yourself a handbag and NEVER allowed yourself to do anything else!-- the page is entirely dedicated to a simple search. Anytime I heard 'search engine'- I'd immediately think of Google. I was one of those big fans who used to google everything-- any help Mom wanted for her school project, anything Dad would want me to know( I DON'T like it when my Dad knows that I don't know!)-- any chartbusters in music or reviews of some movie.. and hey, academics.

But truth is, the interface has remained static for a decade, people submit keyword queries, and the engine spits back a list of 10 hyperlinked results. (I wouldn't forget the ads!)
There ARE attempts from non-Google engines to offer alternatives to the standard search interface. Ask.com, for instance, lets a user see a thumbnail view of each Web page before the link is clicked on. And Clusty.com extracts words that are found on the search-results pages, letting a user drill down to a more specific search. For instance, a search for "MIT" can be specified to include references to "laboratory," "Massachusetts Institute of Technology," "project," and other words or word combinations.

Now for the real thing. Last week, the search giant began a public experiment in which users can make their search results look a little different from the rest of the world's. Those who sign up are able to switch between different views, so instead of simply getting a list of links (and sometimes pictures and YouTube videos, a relatively recent addition to the Google results), they can choose to see their results mapped, put on a timeline, or narrowed down by informational filters. Thus, this would benefit and improve everyone's 'Search Experience'.[Credit: Google]

So when a person signs up for the experiment, Google collects the same information about his searches that the company would otherwise. This includes noting the search terms and result links that are selected, as well as logging the amount of time a user stays on the page of the selected link. All of the information collected is stripped of any identifying information. This data, in addition to market research collected from participants who visit Google's offices and participants who allow Google to come into their homes to track their search habits, will be used to determine the most helpful features of the experiment, and how best to sprinkle those features into search results without upsetting users.(Credit: Google)

Getting to know all this is very very nice. But there's still a long way to go. Is there anything revolutionary about the whole thing? Ah, well. You have to accept, throwing things out there and letting people react is very smart. In a few years, may be, there'll be a tad more options for the interface. And you'll be using one, I'll be using QUITE another. But who cares! Google knows it can do much better. And is willing to work for it. Now THAT deserves SOME appreciation, dudes!

The M A H A T M A

2008-01-30T03:59:00.000-08:00

The day is January 30, 1948. A gaunt old man walks to a prayer meeting. It is one of those shining Delhi evenings, not at all warm but alight with the promise of spring. The man leans on his two young companions for support, and it is hard to miss how frail he looks, under the homespun shawl. He advances toward the terrace, or the prayer-ground. Then, out of the blue, there are four dull, dark explosions.
It is over. The Nation's Father, a patron of non-violence, is struck down by an assassin's bullet.

GANDHI was NOT a scrawny little man. Yes, his legs were scrawny-- and even bowed-- but he had a barrel chest, and a deep, booming voice to match it.
One of the most common and most dangerous myths about Gandhi is that he was a saint. NOT. The name, or rather, the title-- Mahatma-- means "Great Soul". That's somewhere between a saint and a Messiah. Gandhi tried to avoid the title, but the people of India ignored him, in THAT respect.
And here's a quick bust of a myth, concerning Gandhi and India's leaders: Indira Gandhi and her son, Rajiv, are NO relation to the Mahatma. Puh-leese. Who do you think you're kidding? Indira Priyadarshini was the daughter of Nehru. The name 'Gandhi' is common in India, and came to her by marriage. The name means "grocer".
And now we come to Non Violence. What is it, really? I was talking about Gandhi and his principles to my classmates the other day and a guy said "Oh come ON, are you still in the dark ages!? It's so damned passive! It's not even powerful! You see Hitler? I truly admire him, he brought Germany to a place of POWER. Now if I had a choice between POWER and NON VIOLENCE, I'd take power any day."
I could have hit him, I nearly forgot I was an advocate of the biggest advocate of non-violence. I gritted my teeth and smiled.
It is important for us to be clear about this: There is NOTHING passive about Gandhian non violent action. There WAS some confusion initially, when Gandhi referred to his method once as 'Passive Resistance', because it did, indeed resemble techniques bearing that label. But he soon changed his mind AND the term.

Gandhi was ALWAYS on the offensive. YES!! I am NOT joking. He believed in confronting his opponents aggressively, in SUCH a way that they could not avoid dealing with him. Gandhi said that the nonviolent activist, like any soldier, had to be ready to die for the cause. And in fact, during India’s struggle for independence, hundreds of Indians were killed by the British.
The difference was that the nonviolent activist, while willing to die, was never willing to kill.

Gandhi pointed out three possible responses to oppression and injustice. One he described as the coward’s way: to accept the wrong or run away from it. The second option was to stand and fight by force of arms. Gandhi said this was better than acceptance or running away.
But the third way, he said, was best of all and required the most courage: to stand and fight solely by nonviolent means.
And what's the last(not least--OK, duh, I KNOW this is SO trite!)thing to know?
Gandhi learned non violence from-- uh, wait, come on, I know this thing, uh.. uh..
his WIFE! Gandhi was a normal human being, after all. He committed many mistakes. Just like all of us. His wife protested so STRONGLY, albeit in a non-verbal, non-action-oriented way, that Gandhi was actually impressed enough to think about what it would do for the freedom movement.

So what's the moral of the story? Behind every successful man is a woman.
(You guys out there who half-think I'm half-feminist, really DESERVE this! Ahh. This feels so GOOD!)
And the next time somebody threatens you at gun-point, feel SORRY for them.
Somebody wants to dominate? No problem. Why? Simple. Read on:

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then YOU win.

Indo-Pak

2008-01-17T21:26:00.000-08:00

I was on a popular networking site and we were having a discussion on Indo-Pakistan relations. I cited the recent Airtel ad(beyond boundaries-- two small cute guys on other sides of the Border getting to be friends and playing ball) as an example and said we had to move on if we want harmony in this world. I mean, we have got to forget all wrongdoings of the past, forgive each other and move on. Both sides have suffered, I am NOT undermining the sadness and pain undergone. But isn't life all about second chances? I actually have Professor Dumbledore to thank for this. I wouldn't have viewed this situation with new eyes if I hadn't read Harry Potter. Everyone has a little bit of(yeah, thats worst case, you might actually have more) good in them, and they'd actually want to use that part more and more if they know they are being appreciated and respected for it.
And guess what? I got a reply on the discussion board saying ads were just ads and nothing more. The person who responded to my post actually told me it was much easier to talk about it and nobody would forget the price of the Kargil war. Lots of lives gone, who is going to answer them? A soldier's mother asks for her son's life, would you give it to her? A son who is too young to know his father was killed so brutally. A widow who had sent her then-newly-married-husband to war and awaited his return in vain....

I must admit I'm at a loss for words, when it comes to answering these things. A lot of it is tough, and hard. Saying it's tough is actually an understatement. It's not like I am some political leader trying to sort out things for her nation. As a citizen of the world, I am concerned. I wasn't even there when the Partition took place. The Mahatma must have seen this coming, he was so against dividing Hindustan. I am MAD about the fact that the partition of 1947 was far more than an abstract line across administrative maps; it sought to create separate enclaves for different religious communities. In August 1947, millions of Hindus, Muslims and Sikhs found that they no longer "belonged" to the place they were born in and had lived in forever. The advocates of territorial separation (most prominently Pakistan's 'do-gooder', Muhammad Ali Jinnah) saw borders as the natural, physical expression of communal differences.

Why this hate? Deep down, doesn't everyone want to lead a nice, war-free life? Don't you want our kids to grow up in a friendly world? Or would you have them walk matter-of-factly down the road where it's common to hear gunshots?
May be I'm talking like I don't really understand the problem. May be there are some horrible dimensions to it I am just too 'naive' to know about. I've never really known a war properly, and(God-forbid) I hopefully won't go through one.

I can take it if it's a war about territory, or even power. But, please, not about religion.
Religion sucks. Forget religion. It is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you'd have good people doing good things and bad people doing bad things. But for GOOD people to do BAD things, it takes religion. We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. The tendency to make human judgements into commands make religion the most dangerous force in the world today.
Okay, that was pretty long, for a conclusion. But remember what the Dalai Lama said:
We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without Human Affection.

Hurt ones: heal. Helpless ones: prevent.

2008-01-07T19:45:00.001-08:00

I am surprised at myself. It initially took a lot of thinking for me to phrase stuff in such a simple, understandable way, and at the same time, not to corrupt young minds by the usage of words they ought not to know(as of yet). It is crazy how children come to be abused more and more, physically, mentally. It happens where you least expect them to. Home? Shops? Malls? Beaches? Parks? You name it. If any one of you has a sister or brother considerably younger, these are smart ways to keep themselves safe. Let kids be kids.. let them not grow up too soon!
This post is dedicated to all my young sisters and brothers who find themselves hurt or confused.
Disclaimer: The ideas posted are from TULIR, Chennai(Center for Prevention and Healing of Child Sexual Abuse).

YOUR BODY
YOU are the boss of your own body. NO ONE is allowed to hurt it in any way.
The covered parts of your body are your very own. It is NEVER all right for someone to touch, talk about or look at them except for health reasons.

AFFECTION
Hugs and kisses are nice especially from people you like. But if someone asks you to keep it a secret, MAKE SURE YOU TELL A GROWN-UP YOU TRUST.

GIFTS
Sometimes when people try to trick you into doing something(that makes you feel uncomfortable) by giving you sweets, money or gifts. REFUSE to do what they ask and DO NOT accept any such gifts.

SECRETS
Secrets about touching are NOT OKAY. Always tell a trusted adult if someone tries to break the touching rules and asks you to keep it a secret.

LEARN TO SAY NO
If someone tries to break this touching rule, it is VERY IMPORTANT to learn to use this word. USE IT LOUDLY.

SHOUT AND GET AWAY
Practice shouting - because, that's what you need to do when someone is trying to hurt you or touch you in a way you don't like, or which leaves you feeling confused and scared. There is more self-defense to be learned to protect yourself, but take baby-steps, one at a time. Get very good at getting away, it's very important to protect yourself.

TELL
If you are worried, confused or scared by the way someone touches you or makes you feel, tell a grown-up you trust about it. If the person you tell doesn't help you, tell someone else. And keep on telling till you get the help you need. Some examples of grown-ups you might want to tell are parents, grandparents, or teachers.

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. IT IS NEVER YOUR FAULT.
Remember, it is NEVER your fault when someone breaks the touching rule to hurt you. And sometimes even if you say no or get away or are too afraid to tell, always remember to think "NO"-- that YOU did NOT ask to be hurt, and it is NOT your fault. THINK NO. And tell it whenever you can.

Billa. Good? Um... Bad? Not.

2007-12-25T04:52:00.001-08:00

I don't know what the hype was all about. One bad thing about remakes is that they generate a lot of expectations to live up to. I finally caught the movie Billa that had Ajith in the lead. Initially some of my guy-friends were all excited about watching the movie 'cause of Nayanthara(''Smouldering sexuality,'' said one. ''Tamil Nadu's answer to Angelina Jolie,'' said another. ''Enna walk.. enna attitude... WOW...!'' said the next. And they kept on coming.)
Naturally, I wanted to see. Yenna da pa-- ivlo solraaley.. poi paathutu varanum.
So I went to Mayajaal. I got the tickets. And I seated myself.
And then? You may ask. I'm coming to that.
But before telling you that, let me list out the things that are sure to constitute a black mark on an otherwise shining escutcheon.

HEROES:
1. Never, ever, think, that your WALK is going to seriously fasten the pace of the movie, or that you can get away with your good looks.
2. Your costumes might be the rage, yes, after the movie is released. But whatever thought gives you the confidence, that, that, alone, would suffice?
3. Your undoubted ability as hero in the past is NOT going to help us overlook your modest acting skills in the present role. Cause, the bottomline is: the film/your performance rocks/sucks.
All of us(I'm speaking for the fanatics) would have abundant faith in the performance, and, the hype, is still going to get that up further. Don't you think we deserve more than just a mediocre(ok, in the style domain,more than that)-replica?

DIRECTORS:
1. Remakes are always risky. It is one thing to appreciate the fact that it is a big thing having the director's idea being implemented on screen. But you know what? Directors get diverted midway. It's more about what they want to show and that shows they care about the audiences' reaction less and less. You SAY this is a commercial flick, don't you think it's your responsibility to keep the audience rooted to their seats and not lay back and think, Gawd... It's soooo obvious.. enna oru taarture(in Madras-baaasha)..
2.Smart one liners are cool to have. But whacky ones are also, way, way cooler. You actually miss the sarcasm and comic insults when there are smarties just for the SAKE of having them incorporated in the screenplay.
3. Don't you guys appreciate beauty? What in the world causes you to have this biggggg female who's got NO role on screen, has she got some big sex-appeal we're blind to? What's wrong with you guys? There are so many other hot girls!
4. Are you running out of good ideas? Please do something unique--- all of us are tired of remakes, and do you want me to get VERY critical by mentioning the My Name is Billa song that was an INSULT to the original!?

Ok, So I let off steam, let me give you my take on it.

Ajith: We all love you, you're awesome and the film showcases how much potential is waiting to be tapped. Get it? Sure, you've worked hard.. Just get an original storyline and dude! the attitude oozes out.. even when it's supposed not to. Get a little down-to-earth onscreen as well.

Nayan: Beauty! If I were a GUY, I sure as hell would've come asked you out. Great going, girl.

Namitha: What ARE you DOING IN HERE!?

Prabu: What's up with you? Are you allright? First Chandramukhi, now this... are you sure you're letting the directors use you properly!?

Vishnuvardhan: I expected a lot more outta you after Arindhum Ariyamalum. But I should say, Nice try. Keep on learning, and improving.

Billa: Seems like a slow car moving and turning predictably with indicator turned on.

My coding skills...

2007-12-20T23:22:00.000-08:00

Bill Gates once said - rather stroppily-
"I tell you it's NOT a monopoly!
We fight to survive
And for freedom to thrive
As free men fought once at Thermopylae".

Said Narasimhan(SCM) "It is a monopoly
The proof? You program so sloppily
Your software's a pain
You have to restrain
The people who could do it properly".

Planes. What are those delays about!?

2007-12-20T22:46:00.001-08:00

Ever been in those situ-s where you're sitting there at the gate in the airport, waiting to get movin'? I've been thinking, are there ever keys to a plane? May be that's what those delays are about, sometimes. May be the pilot's sitting up there, in the cockpit, and going, "Oh, I don't BELIEVE this. Dammit! I did it again." They tell you it's something mechanical because they don't want to come on the P.A. system, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we're going to be delayed here on the ground for a while. I uh... Oh God, this is SO embarrassing.. I, I.. uh, left the keys to the plane in my apartment. They're in this big ashtray by the front door. I'm sorry, I'll run back and get them."

So now you know what's really happening when your plane is delayed!

Corpsing.. and Laughter-lines

2007-12-20T22:07:00.000-08:00

I really like living this life. I am not saying it for the sake of saying it, nor do I think I use it cause it's some catchy phrase. You gotta admit life's damnedest funny at times. I recently discovered I had this condition called "corpsing"-- It's just a form of hysteria where the subject(in this case, me) breaks into fits of laughter at inappropriate, often serious moments. I was supposed to be on an interview and the guy interviewing me was asking me my strengths and weaknesses. I went on, and I was all, "Well I got this weakness-- hahahhaahahahaha!"
Needless to say, the guy thought I was not in a good condition to be working, and as a tribute to my sanity(;-)) he let me off real early.

In case you thought I was gonna write more, I don't mean to prove you right... ;) I got a cupla people saying my posts are too 'verbose' so there..

Career contemplation. At THIS time. Wise? Um, Not. But still..

2007-12-17T07:24:00.000-08:00

At times, my mind, which I like to think is actually in control(I rejoice in being called a 'strong' woman) is bugged by a small doubt, which, if not kept in check, would go from occupying a needle-point space to 10k^10k^10k^... acres. of never ending land. Anybody would think I am crazy, examining my choice of career when I am actually approaching the end of my undergraduate studies. But I'm me, and everybody's everybody.

I first thought of being a dentist. Probably 'cause I'd wasted away ages and ages of my oh-so-precious childhood by paying countless visits to the dentist instead of playing Hide-And-Seek or Dog-And-The-Bone with my friends back home. But my Grandfather was dead against it. He thought it would be a disgrace to be poking inside mouths and mouths of cavities, holes and drilling and, well, blood. I actually thought I'd go for the glamorous part of that career("Illa Thatha," I'd say. "Cosmetic Dentistry pannven.")Grandpa would grunt and leave me to it. And, well, I never became one. My marks weren't all that good, for one, and poosh! there went my chance of being a dentist and making pots and pots of money.

Next I thought of being a journalist. My mother dashed my hopes saying I needed lots of stamina for that and I'd never really feel at home if I ended up doing stuff on Page 3. Even if Barkha Dutt on NDTV seems a good enough inspiration, it takes quite some courage risking your neck when you're out there interviewing the victims of war or, reporting the conditions post-war.

My parents wanted to be secure in the knowledge that I got to be a professional, and a comfortable one, at that. "Software engineer aagu!" they said. "Amma-Appa kku ellam theriyum. We know what's best for you. Computer padi." Like the docile(??!@#@@$%^!) daughter I was, having lost in the race for not one, but TWO chances for a dream-career, I went for it. Dad's words have always proved true, what was there to lose?

And well, here I am, again, contemplating, whether this choice of career will really make me happy. Do I want to be coding for the rest of my life? Do I slowly want to move in to the designation of a Project Engineer, and, get promoted, slowly, after that, to Project Head.. and so on? I was reading this book called Alchemist(My dad got it for me). And after I was done with it, I said to Dad, "Appa, Egypt la, enakku oru treasure wait panninirkku. I'm going to go in search of my destiny." And that, resulted in my dad nearly falling out of his chair, laughing. I don't get it. What does it take for a girl like me to be taken SERIOUSLY by her own parents!?

And then there was this other thing that happened. I have most of my friends, you know, who happen to have a very authoritarian outlook in life, they seek to dominate and think everything is achieved by enforcing control. I also happened to be reading up on History and how much innocent people of the working class are subject to that kinda thing. So it was with this frame of mind that I was reading Outlook that evening with an apple in my right hand I periodically bit into. The doorbell rang and I went to see who it was. It happened to be an old(well, relatively!) relative of my mother's. He was what you'd call an old fashioned doctor. After the usual exchange of pleasantries and sweets and coffee, along with some bakshanam that my paatti always offers anybody who comes home-- the visitor felt a bit more at ease and was asking me about my plans(thats the most-often asked question being asked to helpless youngsters, I swear). So I was all, "What plans?"-- as politely as I could. "Well, daughter(magale!)--," said he,"You're completing your degree now, aren't you? What do you plan to do next? Fly to Amreeca? Your brother is there to help you! You youngsters always have something up your sleeve!" -- and he laughed at his own joke. I betrayed no emotion. "So!" he tried, again. "Enna pannapore!?" "I am planning to join Politics," I said swiftly. The expression on his face changed. And how. The mouth's smile changed to a straight line and curved downwards on both sides to give an expression that bordered on disgust and surprise(unpleasant). "I am joining the Left to become Champion of the Working masses." And that was that. He looked at the clock and then his watch. "Time aayduthey! December season. Nithyashree kutcheri! Vida mudyuma! Naan kalambren. My blessings to you child." And he left. Gone with the wind.

FOOLPROOF burglary. SO hard to find!

2007-12-11T21:58:00.000-08:00

I am a big fan of Agatha Christie and I love it when M. Poirot somehow gets around and gains an edge over the bad guy. Like in many "seemingly" ingenuous books, you have to THINK like the guilty to catch hold of 'em. So I could scarcely contain my astonishment, when, one fine afternoon, reading one of 'em magazines, I came across an article that focussed on how thick burglars can get.
An example of a real incident that was covered:

A burglar foiled his own robbery after he accidentally turned on a stadium's floodlights.
The hapless 46-year old failed to bring a torch on his 3am break-in of Germania Freund FC. As he stumbled through the German Club's buildings, he flicked the first switch he could find, flooding the ground with light.
A local resident saw the display and police promptly arrested the thief-- though not before he'd also mistakenly activated the stadium's sprinkler system.

Some people just refuse to learn, in life. Now that I come to think of it, I remember, when I was in middle school, h0w miffed one particular teacher used to get, when she realized we weren't applying our mind. "Common sense!" she used to say, with a squeaky lilt, waving a fat little finger at all of us. It's not just restricted to one domain or the other. Whatever profession you seek requires quite some of it, atleast. You'd think, for a profession as risky as BURGLARY, you'd need more of it. You need to have all eyes out. Your sixth sense would be on the lookout. Not that I appreciate it. I would lament my head off if it happened to me. But I would simply HAVE to admire cases of ingenuity where the investigator is put off the scent. And, it would be so EXCITING to continuously work, find new solutions to challenges. That would be the kind of excitement, a sense of power, felt by hackers when they find they can break all barriers to gain access to things that are, out-of-bounds, legally, atleast. I understand that, when it comes to doing things perfectly, you'd come to expect a degree of excellence. It is even inspiring, when I read about cases like that. Reading Sidney Sheldon's If Tomorrow Comes gave me an insight into the lives of criminals-on-the-run from a totally different perspective. I know it's just fiction, but it shows how thinking-straight-on-your-feet would determine your survival. When you have cases like that, how would you ever come across baseless, completely lazy senseless bums like these? The profession totally loses its respect! It would have probably helped if he had listened to his conscience and stayed at home. And another thing that still nags me, is that, what was he doing, robbing a stadium of all places!?

21 THINGS.....

2007-04-05T23:57:00.000-07:00

I've noticed a common thread in what many friends have said I'm basically a "show-off" and a "pompous ass", not to mention "a heartless person". And while there might actually be some truth to that, well I didn't know what to think about that. I mean, I nearly get off when I'm called "a rabid ***** of justice" or when I have my compassion compared to that of a snake, I thought I'd let you know more about the other side of me(yeah, I'm a fan of Rajni Kanth. )
So, before we travel to the other side of the moon, I'd like to apologize to you guys out there who think I'm intolerable. I don't mean to prove you wrong. =)
I suggest you grab a box of tissues, dim the lights, and put on some Air Supply.

I present:

21 Things you shouldn't know about me(But I'm telling you anyway)

1. I want to be a writer someday.

2. I'm a dog person.(Well, cats are okay, but I really appreciate the dogs' disposition better)

3. I wash my hands after I use the bathroom.

4. I have a big soft spot for people who are NICE.

5. I was fat at one point of time, and I know what it is to be the butt of all jokes.

6. I don't mind if people talk shit about me. I don't get intimidated like people expect me to. Loony as this sounds, I got this superior thought in my brain that says, Your life is not based on the criticism of people who don't even matter.

7. I love my parents.

8. I don't compromise on their happiness and I won't, in future. I always ask for my Dad's opinion.

9. I'm not against gay or lesbo marriages.(Hell, I've had crushes on Catherine Zeta Jones, Julia Roberts, Jeniffer Lopez, and recently Shriya Reddy)...Because people can do what they want.

10. I hate to lose, but I'll intentionally let up if I'm beating the piss out of my cousins in Monopoly(Business Move, Trade, the Board Game, whatever you call it), I try to be secretive about it so that the person losing feels better about things.

11. I dislike rich people. A lot. Not because of jealousy, though. Wealthy people just don't know what life's all about, in my opinion. Take the Directors of my college, for instance. But, I'd truly respect and admire people who've sweated it out all the way to the top and know the value of money. Narayan Murthy is super cool. I have to hand it to him.

12. When I say I'm going to do something for someone, I do it. No excuses. Because I truly care for people and when I care for them I go out of my way to care for them.

13. If people talk trash about people I even don't know, I don't appreciate it. I normally don't tolerate it when they talk about people I know. I actually got no problem there, because they, knowing me, don't.

14. I call men older than me "sir" and women older than me "ma'am." I say "Please" and "Thank You" and I smile or nod when they let way for me in a crowd or in a departmental store. I hate fucks who don't even bother to apologize when they bang into that old lady in the supermarket. Are they illiterate, or what?

15. I saw my mother cry for the second time in my life when I got my first semester exam results(the first was when my grandfather died). She cried with me. Nothing has changed me more than this, in my life, till now.

16. My dad and mom do lots for me, but I'm not as receptive as them. I realize it, and I am sorry, and I'm going to make it up for them by finding a life partner who I can be brutally honest with. I don't care if guys think I was leading them on or anything, but if they don't fulfill this, they're OUT. I don't care if he was imperfect in his past(nobody IS!) it's only how we get along. I always forgive and forget easily, with friends too.

17. I don't know to cook like my mom. But it wouldn't be a problem since I'll only be living with my mum. So friends are welcome home for lunch, dinners and that sort of thing.

18. I'm pretty egoistic, but I accept my mistakes.

19. If I don't know something, I'll admit it. I don't act as a know-it-all, contrary to some perceptions.

20. I'm very concerned about Global Warming.

21. I want to be a GreenPeace Ambassador one day.

2007-04-05T23:55:00.000-07:00

10 Things That Annoy Me10 things that tick me off...

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is, buddy...where the hell is yours? Do people point somewhere when you ask where the bathroom is?

2. The Pillsbury Doughboy is way too happy, considering he's got nothin to be happy about(you know what i mean).

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the damn TV remote because they refuse to change the channel manually.

4. When people say..."Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too." What good is a damn piece of cake if you can't eat it? What should I do...eat someone else's piece of cake instead?

5. When people say..."It's always the last place you look, " No shit!! Why the hell would you keep looking for it after you've already found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

6. When people say, while watching a movie..."Did you see that?" No, ya idiot, I paid 100 bucks to come to Mayajaal and stare at the damn ceiling. What did you come here for?

7. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?
8. When something is "New and Improved" Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it! If it's improved, then there must have been something before it!

9. People substitute "f" for "p" and "p" for "f" in English. I went to the laundry the other day nad the person there asked me "How many FANTS are you throwing in??"-- She had a reasonably good accent but THIS spoilt everything...

Here is the 10th thing that really kills me...
10. Chain letters! Who the hell thinks that by annoying other people with stupid e-mail that have no meaning, that they will grant you a wish, or make your long-lost love fall into your arms. Bullshit! I am so sure that by breaking a stupid chain letter that the computer gods are going to curse me! What a crock of shit!
By the way, if you send this to 10 people, shit won't happen, and that person you are in love with won't come crawling to you...so if you feel this is funny, go on and send it to someone else, but don't expect one damn thing in return! Have a nice day!

Jaishree